First of all, I am watching Jimmy Fallon and he has reunited the cast of California Dreams. And if you think I’m clapping and singing along to the theme song, you know me well. I’ll admit, I have serious questions about the current life status of some of these cast members, but if they would have known ME in 1988, they would have so questions about my current life as well. So.

I have a favorite soup. That is actually good for you. And absolutely ridiculously easy. And with winter ending soon [please, God, can winter end soon?], I thought I better offer this recipe to you now while you still have the chance. Cause it’s March, people. It might be about time to dust off your flip-flops.

I’m going attempt to avoid writing another pointless paragraph and just give you the recipe.

[By the way, I just went to the kitchen to get the family cookbook and came back with a bowl of granola and milk. I sat down at the computer and realized I grabbed a snack and forgot the book. Classy.]

CAULIFLOWER SOUP

[Now, you may love or hate cauliflower, but I promise you will love this soup. Trust me. It's cheap and easy to make. If you hate it, oh well. Not a lot of time or money lost.]

Ingredients:

• 2 bags of frozen cauliflower
• 32 oz box of chicken broth
• 3 T ranch dressing mix

[Seriously. That's like $8 maybe. Sheesh.]

Combine all the ingredients. Cook until tender. Puree with an immersion blender.

[Seriously. That's like 12 minutes maybe. Sheesh.]

It makes 4-5 servings that are each like 80 calories. That. Is. Crazy. Low.

When you are done, it looks just like potato soup- it has the same consistency. That says one thing to me– “ADD CHEESE PLEASE.”

So I usually do. Add a little cheese, some turkey bacon, and you’ve got yourself a great low cal meal.

Speaking of low cal, there’s a new post up at the Annie Gets Fit blog. We are 6 weeks in and I can’t tell you how much I’ve lost, but you better love me while you can, cause I am disappearing in front of your very eyes.

Happy Friday. Heart you, bloggites.

So this weekend, my mom came to Nashville [also known as "the best idea we've had in a long time"].

And she came bearing a life-changing cream cheese experience.

Of course, giving dairy credit where dairy credit is due, this recipe is originally from BooMama, my mentor in many things of life and all things of cheese.

So Mama and I, we went to a party to watch some Georgia football. And we brought along what has since been named “Heaven On A Cracker.”

Trust me. I tried to take a picture before people started eating, but it didn’t happen. Apparently, my friends have a strong like for all manner of cheese dips.

But, I did have to keep saying, “it’s a glaze, not grease” because when you pile bacon on cheese and then pour a glaze over top, believe you me, it looks like grease. Which honestly, didn’t stop some folks. In fact, I think Sonnie said, “that’s a lot of grease, but everyone is eating it, so….”

Please. Try it. I mean, I may not really know you, but I know you enough to know that you won’t hate this. [That statement is not true at all. But I still hope you like the dip.]

Captain Rodney Cheese Bake

• ½ cup mayonnaise
• 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 6 Ritz crackers, crumbled
• 8 slices cooked, crumbled bacon
• ½ cup Captain Rodney’s Sweet & Spicy Glaze or Boucan Glaze

Mix first 4 ingredients, then spread in a square casserole dish.  Sprinkle crushed crackers on top.  Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.  Then sprinkle bacon on top and drizzle with glaze over all.  Serve with Ritz crackers, pita chips or your favorite cracker.

Note: Captain Rodney’s is available at Whole Foods. Boucan Glaze was the old name and Sweet & Spicy Glaze is the new name. The glaze is available online from www.bellbuckle.com if you don’t have a Whole Foods nearby.

We doubled the recipe and put it in a 9 x 13.

[Also, just FYI- we used light mayonnaise and turkey bacon. So obviously, it was a healthy alternative to the other snacks, such as carrots and hummus.]

And y’all. It was gone by the end of the evening and we had about 20 people eating. Which you KNOW Mama loved cause she got cook for and hang out with 20 of the cool kids of Nashville.

Like Marisa.

And Chris and Ansley. [who have recently started an INSANELY awesome blog for wives who have traveling/on the road husbands- a much needed area of ministry here. Check it out.]

The only thing I would do differently is that we served the cheese bake with ritz crackers and I would opt for a saltier cracker, maybe a pita chip. Cause I’m not a huge fan of ritz crackers. I’m not one to fear an overly rich experience, but you know how ritz crackers are so buttery and kinda soft? Yeah, I just wanted a hearty chip. Personal preference maybe.

But hello. It’s my blog. This place aboundeth with my personal preferences.

See, I need to give you the back story before I give you the highlight. Sorry bout it.

In the fall of 2000, some friends and I took a trip to Boston. It was, and is still, one of my favorite college years memories. And we found a bakery. A bakery that, I’ll be honest, I fell in love with.

Said bakery? Mike’s Pastry. Not the most awesome website in the world, but they never claimed to be internet nerds. They are bakers. Give ‘em a break.

I don’t know what it was about Mike’s. Maybe it was Mike, maybe it was the crisp fall air, maybe it was the blue and white decor, maybe it was Little Italy that just stole my heart. Or maybe it was just the idea that me and a handful of my college buddies had actually been crazy enough to fly up there and spend our fall break and we were going wherever we wanted because HELLO we were 20 years old and mature and no one was the boss of us.

Something about Mike’s stuck with me. [In my heart and on my thighs and you are welcome for that.] And as a better Annie says, Boston is a city I like to crush on.

So last week, when my friend Molly was telling me that she was headed north, I said, with more enthusiasm than one healthy minded adult should have towards a bakery, that she must Must MUST go to Mike’s. I then continued to share with her minute and ridiculous details of my two trips to Boston and how, because I’m just not right in the head, I had paid a taxi driver to stop by Mike’s on the way to the airport last time I visited.

People. I am addicted to sugar. Deal with it.

Fast forward to Wednesday night, say around 6:15pm. I’m watching DVRed episodes of Flipping Out [duh] when I hear footsteps on my back porch.

Lo and behold, this arrived at my door. “This” being “Molly with a blue and white box.”

Are you seeing what I saw?? Sweet Molly and her travel worn box from Mike’s. It could have brought tears to my eyes. But it didn’t. If I cry over pastry, then we have proof that I take dessert too. seriously.

Truly, is that not the kindest thing? That Molly took time to bring me a cannoli? FROM MIKE’S PASTRY??

Three cheers for Molly loving me enough to get stopped and questioned by airport security for smuggling baked goods below the Mason Dixon line.

I’m not showing you the other end of the cannoli because it is absolutely none of your business how much I had already eaten at the time of the photo shoot nor is it important whether there is any cannoli left in my life.

But THAT was the highlight of my Wednesday night.

[Insert polite curtsy here.]

And good day to you.

That title doesn’t work. Cause it sounds like a) I’m saying YOU are muffin-shaped and I would never accuse you of such a thing or b) I’m saying that I’M muffin-shaped and I would never admit that on the blog.

[So. With that being said, we press on.]

What it means is that I did a little breakfast experiment and I was totally thrilled about it. And the breakfast is shaped like a muffin. And I think you’re a champ. So that’s where the combo came from. I thought it would make more sense. Somehow to combine “breakfast,” “muffin,” and “champion” so you would know this would be a delicious recipe.

[I've over-explained at this point.]

Here’s what. I wanted to make a breakfast that was low in carbs, easy to eat on the run, and still awesome. So I figured that I could make little quiche kinda thingys.

[My ability to blog well seems to be spiraling downward. Let's insert a picture.]

Here’s the turkey bacon. I know, Sophie would tan my pork-free hide for using this fake stuff, but I choose turkey bacon. I cooked it up in the oven.

Here’s the bacon, post cook. [And I think it is rude that you noticed IMMEDIATELY the missing piece of bacon and no, I don't know what happened to it. Move along. Nothing to see here.]

So while the bacon cooked, I scrambled the eggs in a bowl. And then I chopped the bacon up. See, I had this picture in my mind of literally, mini-quiches. So I wanted tiny bacon for tiny quiche.

I gathered a handful of other ingredients, just cause I was home alone and when I’m cooking home alone I feel like I’m a big deal chef. [As evidenced by the "dry mustard". Sheesh.] I went ahead and mixed the bacon and cheese into the egg mixture and added those other really important and fancy ingredients. Like salt.

So then I ladled the mixture into a greased muffin tin. And pretty quickly you’ll see the main flaw of this recipe.

See how Mr. Muffin Top Middle is LOADED with goodies and Mr. Muffin Bottom Left is eggy? Yeah. Lesson learned. Next time I make these [and I will because good gracious I loved them] I will portion out the bacon and cheese and then pour the egg mixture over it.

[I'm betting many of you already had that trick in your cooking skillz bag. Now it's in mine, too.]

And by the way, I think each little muffin quiche [that would have been a good blog post title] needs a piece of bacon, crumbled, and one egg scrambled. Cheese to your liking. You, maybe a sprinkling. Me, maybe a cup. I like cheese.

I cooked them in the oven at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes, until a knife came out clean when I tested it.

As you can see, there was a bit of what one might call “EXPANSION!!” They came out okay, but for some reason, spraying the muffin tins didn’t allow these little puppies to come out clean. I don’t know why though. Do you?

But y’all. They were really good. I ate one immediately. Then bagged the rest for breakfast the next few mornings. How cute is that little baggy of breakfast?

But I do feel like I should warn you: apparently this breakfast of choice will give you a bad case of the crazy eye.

[Sigh. I have no shame or discretion when it comes to embarrassing pictures. Sometimes I wish I did.]

So I hope you try this recipe, throw in some of your favorite veggies or other meats, and let me know how it goes.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the crazy eye.

The movie Julie & Julia ended. The credits rolled. And I cried.

Like a baby. Like a “Get yourself under control, child!” kind of cry.

[I actually cried twice during the movie. But let's not talk about it.]

I cried because the movie was full of me- the food lover, the blogger, the unpublished author, the woman.

I’m the blogger who makes decisions for her blog readers, celebrates the comments, and sometimes has to bring my blog life into submission to my real life. A common mantra around these parts are, “just remember- if the internet dies, so does AnnieBlogs.” Cause it can’t hurt to remember that every now and again.

I’m the cook who was raised to FEEL the food. To eat it, but more to experience it. Maybe it’s a Southern thing. Maybe it’s a family thing. Maybe it’s because of where AND who I come from. Either way, it literally pains me to eat healthy because, I’m going to be honest here, butter is what makes things lovely.

But more than any of those, I’m the writer. The author. Who is DYING for that letter or that call. Just dying for it. The call that says “your writing is legit and we have an offer.” The call that says, “Yep, keep working on that second book cause baby, the first one is going to press.” The call that says, “in the next year or so, you are going to open your mailbox and find a large envelope containing the first copy of your new book.”

I cried because I’ve been pretending that I don’t care if my book gets picked up soon or not. And watching both Julie and Julia live in that place of wanting to be a published author but not quite there yet, well, it killed my pretender.

Because I do care. I care so much. I care to point that I compose emails to my agent EVERY DAY and delete them because really, who wants to be that annoying girl who asks AGAIN if we’ve heard anything? [Not me.] Because somewhere, in this deep part of my chest- behind my ribs but before my backbone, is this place that gets almost cold and tight with desire. With hope. With the feeling that I was made to be a writer.

I cried because in the dark of that movie theater, surrounded by my dear friends, I remembered how much I want my dreams to come true.

Bon appetit.

Remember that time I tried to make homemade oreos for a birthday party?

This is what they looked like.

Yikes. I know. And if it is possible, they actually TASTED worse than they looked. Shocking, but true.

After I recovered from the debacle, I called Kathleen. Cause Kathleen knows how to make everything. And after I over-dramatically retold the nightmare that was my baking experience, I begged her to try to make them. I emailed her the recipe and just said, “when you get a chance, will you see if it’s the recipe or…. sniff…. me?”

Because I usually pride myself in my baking skillz, so this was a tough situation.

And late last week a package arrived at my door with this note:

Apparently, it wasn’t the recipe. Because good gracious these are delicious.

So now that I know the recipe is trusty, I will share. Because I don’t exactly remember where it came from [sorry bout it], I’m going to rename them.

___________

KATHLEEN KNOWS OREOS

Makes 25 to 30 sandwich cookies

For the chocolate wafers:
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch process cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 to 1 1/2 cups sugar [see recipe note]
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) room-temperature, unsalted butter
1 large egg

For the filling:
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) room-temperature, unsalted butter
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1. Set two racks in the middle of the oven. Preheat to 375°F.
2. In a food processor, or bowl of an electric mixer, thoroughly mix the flour, cocoa, baking soda and powder, salt, and sugar. While pulsing, or on low speed, add the butter, and then the egg. Continue processing or mixing until dough comes together in a mass.
3. Take rounded teaspoons of batter and place on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet approximately two inches apart. With moistened hands, slightly flatten the dough. Bake for 9 minutes, rotating once for even baking. Set baking sheets on a rack to cool.
4. To make the cream, place butter and shortening in a mixing bowl, and at low speed, gradually beat in the sugar and vanilla. Turn the mixer on high and beat for 2 to 3 minutes until filling is light and fluffy.
5. To assemble the cookies, in a pastry bag with a 1/2 inch, round tip, pipe teaspoon-size blobs of cream into the center of one cookie. Place another cookie, equal in size to the first, on top of the cream. Lightly press, to work the filling evenly to the outsides of the cookie. Continue this process until all the cookies have been sandwiched with cream.

_____________

I still don’t exactly know what I did wrong, but you better believe I’m going to give this recipe another whirl. Probably.

After, of course, I finish eating the ones Kathleen sent me.

First of all, thanks for all your sweet birthday well wishes. 29 sure seems to be shaping up beautifully so far.

On to the more important bloggy things. Like dessert.

So Annie Parsons introduced me to Deb Barnett.

And Deb Barnett introduced me to what shall be called “The Dessert That Defined My Summer 2009″.

Here’s the recipe – go get it from Deb. It just makes more sense that way. But here is a photo-montage of the day my addiction began.

Ye ingredients, gather round. I’m going to tell you a little story of a 29 year old blogista who has a soft spot in her heart for low-fat desserts with fruit.

Here’s the mixed jellos [had to go with raspberry instead of cranberry. But still delicious.] with the milk and sour cream.

Then I mixed in the Cool Whip and as my friend Marisa says, “Oops.” Maybe that isn’t exactly in the recipe directions, but how is one supposed to resist dipping a Nilla Wafer in the pudding? Sheesh. What do you think I am? Made of steel?

Then I attempted to set up the camera so I could be photographed with the parfait. Dear Annie, remember to actually SET the timer when you want to use it. [Let's all be grateful I didn't go into brain surgery as a profession.]

And let’s try that again.

Much better. But still a bit weird to take a picture of yourself, alone at home, with a dessert. But whatevs.

Now. I’m no Pioneer Woman, but I kinda love this shot. Deb is always looking for the perfect bite and I think I may have captured it.

Momentarily.

Oops.

I highly recommend this recipe [and really any recipe that Deb has on her blog]. I think with this one, you could substitute any fruit jello and any fruit. Make it your own. Embrace it. And join me in celebrating summer correctly- with a parfait in one hand, and your camera in the other.

I was in such a good mood when I found the recipe for homemade Oreos. A friend of mine is having a birthday party tonight, so I set aside Thursday to bake the night away for the party. Because if there is one thing I don’t [usually] screw up, it’s birthday baked goods. [Now refer back to the title of the post. Sigh...]

Here you can see the ingredients, my dear computer/recipe holder, and Emily, who apparently would rather you not know she was even involved in this debacle. Frankly, I can’t blame her.

Things started out fine. I was following the directions exactly. Except the part that said “use your mixer”, cause I don’t have one. Maybe that was the problem? Who knows. Without a second thought, I used my hand-held mixer thinking the two machines were interchangeable. And it went fine…

..until the motor blew up, the spinners quit spinning, and some sound came from the back that scared me. So, after that, it was all by hand. I felt like I worked at the Oreo factory in 1893.

But once the dough was made, we began the baking process. And as sheet after sheet of cookies came out of the oven, it was clear that something was going terribly wrong. Of all those cookies, oh… I don’t know… about 7 of them were edible. SEVEN. Because the rest looked like this.

Anybody order cookies with burned crispy edges and raw centers? CAUSE I HAVE CLOSE TO 100 OF THEM.

And while we helplessly watched the cookies burn, I made the icing. Again, the mixer was broken, so it was a workout. I’m smiling in this picture not because I’m happy, but more to keep from crying.

So what happens when you put raw-burned cookies together with not-fully-fluffy icing? This. Yep, that’s supposed to be an Oreo.

Here’s what I’m thinking in this shot:

#1. “This is humiliating.”

#2. “This is hilarious.”

#3. “What in the WORLD am I going to make for this party?”

Because really, nothing will get me excommunicated from our friend group quicker than showing up with this tray of disappointment.

Luckily I have all day to come up with a) another dessert and b) a good answer to the question, “What happened to the homemade Oreos you bragged about?”

Lessons learned.

#1. Don’t brag.

#2. Leave Oreo making to the professionals.

Sheesh.

Mmmm…… chocolate covered pretzels.  And oh so fancy looking.  [The bizarro tint to this photo is because I took the picture while they were in the fridge.  Why I didn't just take them out for a moment is a question for the ages.]

This is my favorite Christmas treat to make. Well, that being said, I also really like the white chocolate with pieces of peppermint in it.  Really, you can combine anything with “white chocolate” and you will have my undivided attention.

I literally had to make 150 of these for Saturday, but 3 of them broke.  So I arrived at the party with only 147.  I was allowed in anyways.  Full of grace, that’s what these Nashville people are.

Seriously all you need for this recipe is three things.  Pretzels. White chocolate bark. Milk chocolate bark.  [Ok, and here is the thing.  Make this recipe your own.  Use peppermint extract, or pieces of peppermint, or sprinkles or smaller pretzels.  Whatever you want.  Here are some other options.]

I used one bag of pretzels, 1 full box of white chocolate, and only half a box of milk chocolate.

And seriously.  This is so easy.  Just melt the white chocolate in the microwave.  I use one of those big honkin’ glass measuring thingys. [Now I'm getting all technical in my terminology. Sorry.] Once the white chocolate is melted, just dip the pretzels in it and lay them on a wire cooling rack.  If you are putting piece of peppermint on them, you’ll want to do that before the chocolate completely cools.

To speed up the process, you can set them in the fridge to harden.  But I will warn you, that is when I lost the 3 pretzels.  Trying to bust them off the cooling rack after setting in the fridge was a challenge to be sure.

But once the chocolate has hardened, lay them on wax paper.  Then melt the milk chocolate.  Using a fork, dip it in the milk chocolate and start slinging it over the pretzels.  Very messy, which I tend to think is quite a joy.

[Please notice.  Broken pretzels in top left corner. DOH. And chocolate slung all over the place, including onto the knife block. DOH.]

Place these in the fridge to get all cool and tough [like me] and then they are ready to serve.  I have NO IDEA why I didn’t take a picture of the full tray of 147 pretzels because it was a MOUND O CHOCOLATE, I tell ya.  But I did snap a shot of Betsy enjoying said pretzels at the party.

Oh she is a happy party goer now, folks.  Yum.

And I also promised yesterday that I would tell you my favorite gift to give this year.  And that is THIS SHIRT.  For realz.  In fact, I placed my rather large order just yesterday.

Because not only do you give your friend/family/coworker/adopted inmate a new cool shirt, but you also get to pick which project the money supports.  And included with the shirt is a little card explaining the project.  Yeah, it is WAY awesome.

Now, if someone would just dip that tshirt in white chocolate, I could die in peace. Probably choking on a sleeve or something.

Apparently I have an addiction.  To vegetable soups.

And it never fails that whenever I make soup, I say, “Oh man where is my camera because my bloggites are going to love this recipe.”

That’s sick, people.  Sick.

This recipe is from my friend and fellow blogger Kristin.  Big ups, Kristin.  This is some seriously delicious soup.

________________

TUSCAN VEGETABLE SOUP

1 (15-ounce) can low-sodium cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 large onion, diced (about 1 cup)
2 carrots, diced (about 1/2 cup)
2 stalks celery, diced (about 1/2 cup)
1 small zucchini, diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme leaves (or 1 teaspoon dried)
2 teaspoons chopped fresh sage leaves (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
32 ounces low-sodium chicken broth or vegetable broth
1 (14.5-ounce) can no salt added diced tomatoes
2 cups chopped baby spinach leaves
1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan, optional

____
In a small bowl mash half of the beans with a masher or the back of a spoon, and set aside. Heat the oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat. Add the onion, carrots, celery, zucchini, garlic, thyme, sage, 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper, and cook stirring occasionally until the vegetables are tender, about 5 minutes. Add the broth and tomatoes with the juice and bring to a boil. Add the mashed and whole beans and the spinach leaves and cook until the spinach is wilted, about 3 minutes more. Serve topped with Parmesan, if desired.

_______________

Ok, let me tell you some things I did differently.  I forgot to buy the cannellini beans [doh!], but I had two small cans of lima beans.  So I smashed one can of beans and used the other whole.  Also, I DO NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT prefer fresh spinach, so I used a box of frozen spinach.  It ruled.

It probably makes enough for four big-ish servings. [that's a technical term, obviously.]

And welcome to No Dairy November, where the grilled cheese sandwich is made with soy cheese.

Delicious?  Yep.  Surprised?  Me too. Oh I am really trendy now, eating soy cheese and all.  If only my wardrobe was as trendy as my fridge.