You know, when do you do a full month of blogging about courage, you miss sharing some important events.

Like when I got electrocuted.

So.

Here’s that story.

[You're welcome in advance.]

Let me first start by explaining this – in the USA, we use 120 volts. In Scotland, they use 230 volts. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but you can see the increase… which is necessary to add drama to the story, ya see. [Reasons I don't write fiction: I tend to "build the story" by overexplaining, even when I don't really know how to explain.]

So a few weeks ago, me and three Crossroads Edinburgh folks were hanging out in the church office. It was time for me head to my next destination [Starbucks, to be exact, to meet with a student who said, "I want you to meet my boyfriend because you are like extended family." and I wanted to pass out and cry with joy at the same time because that is SO.SWEET].

As displayed in the diagram below, I innocently reached to unplug my computer.

Three things:

1. You can probably tell I’m the only one in the office today by the fact that I am able to reenact aforementioned electrocution.

2. Sorry about the nails. I partly blame the 31 Days of Courage and I partly blame the writing that is keeping me up at night. It’s good though… so it’s worth it.

3. I know that I don’t need that many converters on my computer. Tom, the pastor at church, laughs at me about it all the time. But it’s a comfort thing. Long story. Just know that I know.

Back to the picture.

Can you see those tiny metal prongs? Right. So, I go to unplug my computer on that fateful day in October and I didn’t notice that the metal plugs were exposed.

I grabbed and pulled. But as I grabbed the black plastic part, it stayed in the wall and my fingers slid onto the metal prongs. This is displayed in the photo below, though I’ll be honest and say that it made me nervous even to pretend.

My fingers made contact with the metal prongs still attached to the black plastic piece which was still attached to the wall which was pumping out 230 volts of electricity.

Which led to this happening.

Well, not really. But that would have been HILARIOUS.

What really happened it is just sorta zapped me and everyone in the room stopped and looked and were like, “whooooaaa… duuuuuude.” And I was like, “yeah, that just happened.”

Then my fingers tingled for approximately 48 hours.

So what I’m saying is I survived that experience but now I wince every time I go to unplug my computer.

The end.

Happy Wednesday.

Forgive me for abandoning you for the better part of this week. While Betsy was here, I pretty much ignored my little laptop, minus work and writing deadlines, and then yesterday after she left, I thought a lot.

Well, I also did my laundry and gathered supplies for Crossroads Church‘s service last night and worked on a new book proposal and blogged about the AMAZING things that Mocha Club has going on.

But I mostly thought.

I wish you were here today. The weather is “just beyond” [in the words of Rachel Zoe] and the first comment on everyone’s lips is how gorgeous it is outside. I’m talking sunny and 60 breezy degrees. It’s the most summer-like weather I have known in this country.

And I want you to experience this with me.

I think that is what I loved most about Betsy being here. I was finally able to invite someone from home into this world. She walked the same streets I do everyday, she hung out with my friends and was finally able to put faces with names and stories. She tasted the difference in the cheddar. She lived my life for five days.

But on a deeper level, having one of my best friends here for five solid days meant I had to [got to?] talk about some real stuff and a few hard moments and some thoughts on the future and invite Betsy into that.

It’s hard to feel alone in a foreign country. It’s hard to be halfway through this season here and have tons of thoughts rolling around in my head but wonder if talking about those outloud would hurt the feelings, or raise the hopes, of newish friends. Having Betsy here gave me opportunities to have face-to-face conversations about what is going on in my head with someone who knows a lot of depth and width of my life.

So I invited her in. I invited her into my city, my home, my friendships, my church, my thoughts, my fears, my hopes, and my hurts. In some ways, I think I was able to ignore some things before she was here because I didn’t have to process them with anyone. But when your BFF is staring you in the face, it’s hard to pretend.

It was an awesome week and I’m super sad she’s gone. I wish I could keep shipping friends and family over to see this world of mine. It’s really wonderful. And hard. And fun. And challenging. And, above all else, Edinburgh is a gift. And I want to share that gift with my people.

Can you think of areas of your life where you need to invite someone in? Maybe a real place or maybe just a situation or conversation. Or will you share a time, like this week with Betsy, when you invited someone in and it made all the difference?

I remember when I ran/walked/crawled the half-marathon in March, I knew it was important to take a picture at the turn, at the halfway point. I don’t remember why I knew that, but I did.

[I'm only going to link to the half-marathon post, versus reposting that picture because seriously. A girl has to have some degree of pride in this world.]

I have lived in Edinburgh for 10 weeks. I have about 9 more to go. And as you can imagine, I am a cornucopia of emotion.

I really miss home. I miss the simplicity that America is [for me, an American]. I miss my family and my friends. I miss cheese dip. I miss Nashville. I miss Crosspoint. I love my life in that city.

But I really love it here. I love the climate. I love the public transportation. I love my friends. I love the ministry. I love the £1 and £2 coins. I love my life in this city.

If I’m being gut-level honest, I’m not sure I’m built for this life- the life of a missionary who is learning to live in a completely foreign culture. But, in the same breath, I will say that I’m not sure it matters what “I” think I’m built for.

I don’t want to live in the city where I’m most comfortable or where I love my friends the most or where I love the weather or the coinage. I want to live in the city where my life glorifies CHRIST the most. 

I had a long conversation with my Mom about this last night, since there is an opportunity to be here longterm. I talked about the pros and cons and my emotions and my thoughts and when it all comes out in the wash, here is the truth: I don’t know what God’s plan for me is.

I won’t find peace in pros/cons lists. I find peace in God’s plan.

[And we're only at halfway, so obviously this is TOTALLY worth getting worked up about right now.]

But I just want this blog to be an honest reflection of my life and the honest thing to say at halfway is that I really miss home and I don’t know what my future holds and I love living in Edinburgh.

[I warned you. A cornucopia of confusion.]

I had a dream last night. I’m not saying it was from God, but I’m not saying it wasn’t. It was October and I was in Nashville- I was at Crosspoint talking with Pete and Lyndsay. I saw a calendar that said the date and I knew what was on the Crossroads calendar that day and I was really sad to be missing it.

I don’t think that is God saying that I’m not supposed to be in Nashville longterm, I think what I’m taking away from that dream is that I’m not supposed to be in Nashville in October. 

Which is fortunate. Because hi, my name is Annie and I currently live in Edinburgh, Scotland.

And it makes me remember a great quote from Jim Elliot – “wherever you are, be all there.”

So here is my halfway picture that I took yesterday at the Crossroads office.

She’s happy! She’s truly glad to be here! She loves Scotland! Halfway, baby!

And then on the walk home, after getting blown to pieces by wind and rain and shopping for last night’s Crossroads dinner and thinking too much and feeling a bit overwhelmed and strained, I took this picture.

She’s being honest! She’s a little stressed! She’s a little confused! Halfway, baby!

So, while I wait on what God wants me to do next, I choose joy. I choose to fully embrace being here. I choose not to waste a single day wondering [though I may waste moments], but to choose to be all here.

Someday, before we know it, I’ll be on a plane flying back to the land of cheese dip and southern accents, and I will bawl my eyes out and wish for just one more day.

Today is that day.

This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

It’s been that kind of week, in the best way.

I don’t know how much I’ve told you about my role at Crossroads Edinburgh, but it kinda looks like this: take one part secretary and one part organizer, throw it in a blender with an events coordinator, a personal assistant, cruise director, and an interior decorator. Add a gallon of orange juice and that’s me.

[I drink a lot of orange juice.]

So this week has been crazy fun, emphasis on the crazy.

It started on Saturday when our friends Ian and Maxine at Napier University invited us to have a booth during their fresher’s festival. Which, as you can imagine, was AMAZINGLY AWESOME AND UNBELIEVABLY COOL. I mean, in a matter of six hours, we met over 600 students.

Whoa.

Here’s our little display. Cute, huh? We handed out pens [welcome to uni, kiddos, you're gonna be writing a lot] and postcards with our church details. It was really really fun.

Here are the girls- Melissa, Esther, and me! It was such a fun day, and you know me well enough to know that the day I get to talk to 600 people is more or less my heaven.

[I wish I was kidding.]

Then Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, we all buzzed around town collecting things for our Wednesday night dinner. See, every Wednesday this month, we are hosting free dinners for students. Some of the team is in charge of the food and some are in charge of the decor and some are ridiculously bossy and find it natural to order people around all the live long evening.

[I mean me. I'm the bossy one. But it's for a good cause.]

Here’s the thing. All these students have left home and moved to Edinburgh. Whether they are from Stirling, 30 minutes away, or from China, they no longer live at home.

So it is our goal on Wednesday nights to create a place and a meal and friendships and conversations that feel like home.

We don’t have a megachurch budget. Nor do we have a Wal-Mart. So. As you can imagine, I’ve been Fairy-Godmothering all over this place. [You know, pumpkins to carriages. That kind of thing.]

It’s a modest home, to be sure.

And then while my pals were cooking and serving ….

The room went from this…

to this! Our team and about ten new friends sat and ate and talked until we finally had to say, “People. We were supposed to be out of there 30 minutes ago. You have to go home.” Best. Problem. Ever.

Right? Are you freaking out at how COOL that is?

I know. I was too. And the students who came along last night were so fun and really great to get to know.

Then just today we headed back to Napier for the second fresher’s fair and I decided I needed to beef up my display table by going totes crafty and making bunting.

Are you proud? I won’t tell you how long it took me to make those triangles. It’s a shame. And a sham. A pillow sham.

So it’s been crazy and fun and exciting and busy and we have two more weeks of this.

Whoa.

And don’t even get me started on the weather this week. It has been 44 shades of perfection – no rain, cool breezes, windy like nobody’s biz-nass. And my hair? Good gracious. It’s been like taming a beast… who is highly effected by wind.

But it’s been fun.

Oh oh oh. Also. If you want to see more pictures [and a quick little video!] check out our Crossroads Church facebook page.

. . . . .

Help me help them! What did people do for you when you moved off to college (or moved to a new city) to make you feel at home? 

I want to tell you about the ministry here in Edinburgh. I think you should know about the spiritual side of why I am here… it is why I am here. I want to tell you the absolutely amazing things that God is doing and the challenging things we are facing and the ways we are seeing prayer and fasting and outreach make a real difference in this city.

So here is one story.

Crossroads Church Edinburgh currently meets in the Eric Liddell Centre, which is great. But just like any church, someday we would like our own building.

And we know what building we want. 

Down the street from where we currently meet is a dilapidated nasty old church, built some time in the 1800s. Pigeons fly in and out of the shattered windows and the doors are completely stripped of paint. There is no where to park and the back garden is chained closed. There are weeds and plants growing up through every crack in the sidewalk. No one has met there in at least ten years and you can tell. It’s an absolute mess.

And we want it. Real bad.

I can’t tell you why, exactly. There is just something about it. Something about the way we feel when we pray for it. Something about the strategic location. Something about the way I can close my eyes and see it restored, with our banner hanging outside and kids running around, and the doors being open and inviting and people strolling in and the sun is shining.

I can see it.

And I think God sometimes gives us pictures for us to say  ”God, I pray THAT becomes a reality.”

So our team is praying.

We are praying that God would make a way for us to have that building. We are praying that those who own it [and do NOT take care of it] would sell it or lose it. We’re praying that God would provide all the finances necessary. We’re praying for the growth of the ministries that will be in that building.

Hundreds of years ago, some men that I do not know worked day after day to build that church. Their prayers, I’m sure, were that God would be honored and glorified in that building. That building was made for a purpose and it is not living that purpose.

I want to pray with them, those men who laid stone upon stone. I want my prayers to mix in the bowl where their prayers have been held. And I want to be part of the answer to their prayers.

So a few weeks ago, our team decided that not only did we want to pray, we wanted to pull weeds.

[Just to give you an idea, this was after about 25 minutes of work... yes. The weeds and overgrown plants are unbelievable.]

No, it’s not our church, but we are believing God that it is going to be. So we pulled up the weeds.

[James is like, "And over here is something important and I'm going to keep talking even though you are taking a picture... blah blah blah." You remember James. He makes haggis.]

We didn’t pull up the weeds because we want to be congratulated or we want to prove something to the world. We didn’t clean up the church because it will give us the upper hand in any way.

We took our Saturday to pull weeds because we love that building. And we wanted to take a step of faith. Together. A step that says, “God, not only will we pray for this, we will believe You for this, and we will walk in it.”

What if we are wrong? What do we lose by improving the look of the city? What do we lose by praying and clinging to faith? There is no consequence if we are wrong.

The bigger question is- what if we are RIGHT? What if God is burning this on our hearts because He is going to do miraculous things to make it happen? And what if we didn’t walk in faith and believe Him for it?

I hate missing miracles, so I’d rather walk by faith and look foolish and believe for a miracle and clean up someone else’s building.

[This isn't our whole leadership team, by the way. We are nine all together.]

So I am here in Edinburgh to clean up the weeds in front of a church building we do not own, watching and believing that God has a plan to make this house His home again.

Will you pray with us today? That God would give us this building so that we can restore it to the purpose for which it was built?

Then all of our prayers will fill the bowl, mixing with those of the men and women who have worshipped in this place for generations, and the bowl will overflow, and the spillage will be miraculous.

. . . . .

What are you believing God for?

What steps have you taken/could you take as an act of faith?

[because I want to pray for you too]