I haven’t slept much. As indicated by the lame joke in the title of this post.

But it is really cold. As in, it would help if I had a cape to wrap myself in.

I brought one sweatshirt. I will wear it every day and you shouldn’t judge me for that.

I’m serving God. So what if I get grimy?

[Confession: I just cried about it in front of the whole team regarding said grime. Whatevs. I repeat: I haven't slept much.]

We don’t have much internet time, so I may not be able to hop on here much.

The best way for you to keep up with our team:

Mocha Club’s twitter- http://twitter.com/mochaclub. It gets updated every time I post.

OR

Subscribe to Mocha Club’s blog- http://blog.mochaclub.org.

OR

Just keep checking the Mocha Club blog constantly. As my mother has been doing for the last 27 hours.

YES! My turn to take a shower. First one since Thursday at 4am.

[I repeat: Stop judging me.]

I have to walk out my door in 4 minutes.

But I just had to say bye and thanks for your prayers and keep up with us at the Mocha Club blog!

There are 2 posts there already, including a video about my packing shenanigans. [Just click on the button below]

Ok, I SERIOUSLY have to go. When Marisa sees that I posted when I was supposed to be headed out the door, I’m in big big trouble.

Much love, my bloggy friends. I can’t believe I’m headed to Africa.

I have a friend named Annie.

On Sunday, I called her to go shoe shopping with me and instead, she GAVE me her shoes. The same shoes that took her to Africa a few months ago will take me to Africa tomorrow.

Somewhere, in my mind, is rolling around the depth of this idea- two Annies taking the same pair of shoes to multiple countries in Africa- her to Egypt and Sudan, me to South Africa.

There’s something in that. There’s something about the steps she took that are impacting the steps I’m going to take. There’s something about the places these shoes have already been that gives me courage to take them across the Atlantic again.

It’s deep, y’all. I can’t wrap my mind around all of it, but I know it’s there. I know it in my knower.

I wore the shoes yesterday around Nashville, just to make sure they were comfortable and were going to be worth the packing space. ALL DAY LONG this thought ran through my mind. I couldn’t shake it. This physical act is really also a spiritual act. Annie encouraging me to walk that same road, equipping me with what gave her strength to make the journey. Giving freely so that I, in turn, will give.

It was a simple gift, meant only to ease my mind and my budget for this month. It was not meant to be taken quite. so. seriously. And I know that. But God has used this to speak to my heart today.

I’m walking in the shoes of a woman who loves Africa.

And there is a chance that by the time these shoes return to their rightful Annie, they will have walked my heart directly out of my chest and left it lying in Capetown. I’m prepared to return to Nashville with the shoes, but without a portion, or any, of my heart.

I really have no idea what God has in store for me on this trip. I can’t decide if my lack of expectations is a recipe for a disaster or an open door for Him to do His thing. [Probably some diabolically weird and beautiful combination that will have me begging for mercy and begging for more, at the exact same time.] And when my heart can take no more, or when I’m too tired to take another step, I’ll look at the shoes. The ones who have done all this before. I’ll be reminded of Annie, and the other Mocha Club members and artists, who have walked these steps. Literally walked in these shoes. And made a way for me.

Two Annies. Two shoes. One continent. One mission.

To glorify God by loving His people.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion [Capetown!], “Your God reigns!” -Isaiah 52:7

So that whole video about getting my license was so dumb I couldn’t even expose you to it. It would have been wrong. Trust me. I care about you too much to make you watch 4 minutes of my idiot self, in my car, discussing the ups and downs of our government departments.

Instead, here’s how I spent my weekend. And there are a lot of pictures, so we’ll pretend like it’s a Smile, Wednesday. Is that okay with you? Don’t be confused though… it’s only Tuesday. Because on Wednesday, I have to go to bed early because on Thursday, I GO TO AFRICA. Oh wowsa.

Let’s not think about the fact I haven’t packed and haven’t even really shopped for the trip yet. Instead, let’s just look at some pictures, okay? Thanks.

And obviously, these were all taken with Anita the iPhone. She’s a champ. A real gem.

Memorial Day Weekend photos begin now.

Oh, you know Marisa and Betsy.

And this was my view of Nashville from our hang location, The Icon.  Yeah, tough life. I know.

Here’s how Betsy feels about our Memorial Day hang.

We also had a b-day party for Phil and Emily. And I was rather proud of my cupcake cake. I had to figure out a way to feed 24 people, so I thought pre-portioning the dessert was the way to go. Though I did take a little heat from some friends for the massive amount of icing. [Those holes in the cupcakes were for candles. Not more icing.]

I mean, really. I’ve never heard the term “too much icing” before, so I don’t exactly know where that line is. Forgive me. Or congratulate me. Whichever you feel more appropriate.

Didn’t scare Andy away though, did it? We like to call him One Bite Merrick. [At least we do now that I labeled him that.]

And this is when I asked Betsy, “How do you feel about the fact that we leave for Capetown in just a few days?”

Yeah, me neither.

These are the things I’m partaking of right now.

At 12:50am.

After a seven hour shift at the taco restaurant. Which, I don’t really have the time or energy to express all the emotions that are surrounding the taco situation right now, but trust me that they are there.

I’m a whiner. And I don’t like to work hard. Or stand up for a long time.

Or clean the men’s bathroom at a taco restaurant.

But you should be proud- I only whine in my mind. Then I argue with that same whiny-brain, reminding it to be grateful for a job. Or I get Marisa to remind me. Whatevs.

Speaking of Marisa, she’s leading that Capetown trip I’m going on this THURSDAY. And I’m super pumped to tell you that my first blog post is now up on the Mocha Club blog. And obviously, I took another opportunity to build a cute blog button.

Which, of course, you are welcome to steal any of these buttons and place them on your own blog (this one or the one on my Capetown 09 page) so that your readers can keep up with my trip.  Because Tuesday, I’ll be posting a video on my attempt to pack for South Africa. Which is going to be hilarious. I hope.

Unlike the driver’s license video that I’ve been trying to make all week. And though I’m afraid it lacks in good times, and may be the least eventful video you will ever watch, I’m posting it this weekend. Because I find myself to be hilarious. So I’m apologizing right now for the deep levels of ridiculous that this video will offer- cause if funny events don’t happen [they didn't], funny editing must happen [it will].

I talk a lot when it’s late at night. Can you tell?

Notice that I didn’t blog yesterday? AND I’M OKAY WITH THAT.

And see those 119 blog posts that are waiting in my google reader? I IGNORED THEM last night because I wanted to watch the American Idol finale.

Dear 119 bloggers, it’s not you. It’s me. In fact, I love you enough to not skim your blog, so I’ll read them for realz today while Brother and Sister take their daily naps.

[Dear boundaries, nice to meet you.]

Speaking of reading blogs, if you have some spare time and want to get to know the other people who come here everyday, head back to Monday’s post and do some clicking in the comment section. Because y’all are some GOOD WRITERS.  I loved reading them. It’s like we all sit in the same coffee shop everyday- let’s call it AnnieBlog CoffeeHouse – and it’s about time y’all made eye contact and waved. Cause you’re all here together…. and it’s awkward to see the same people every day and not say hey.

Don’t be awkward.

Except I am a lot. So whatever.

American Idol. Can we talk about Adam Lambert and KISS? Good gravy. And sweet Kris. That was beautiful. Let me give you a math equation:

Kris Allen + Keith Urban = highlight of the season for me.

So I leave in ONE WEEK for Capetown. Want to read more about my trip? You can go here. As well, I’ll be blogging live every day of the trip at the Mocha Club blog. Yeah, pretty much I get to blog everyday. From Africa. Breaks my heart? NOT. AT. ALL. Me gusto blogging for realz, no matter what hemisphere I’m in.

I think I’m going to make a video about packing. Cause maybe that will be funny. Or boring. [Or fun-ring. Or bor-nny. Funny and boring. Is that possible?]

Speaking of bloggy-videos, I’ve got part 1 of a 2-parter in the can. Part 2 will be done Friday so I’ll attempt to post it pre-taco job Friday night. Maybe it’s a 2 parter because I’m a big deal. But more likely, it’s a 2 parter about getting my new driver’s license because I went to the wrong office Tuesday and then ran out of time to go the the right office so I have to go tomorrow.

That was a run-on sentence.

If this is the kind of brain puke that Thursday has to offer, I don’t have much hope for today being all that profound.

So here’s a question: If you were REALLY at AnnieBlogs CoffeeHouse, what would you order? [I'd have a vanilla soy chai. It's my favorite.]

Is “tizzy” a word used around the country? Or is this a southern word?

Like were I, per say, to write an entire post about how right now, at 11:21pm [just being honest, I'm writing this Monday night], I am in a FULL ON TIZZY, does that make sense to people outside of the Bible belt?

I’m gonna check online to see if there is a “tizzy” definition…. wait for it….

[mere google minutes later.....]

Well, it appears that yes, many people get in tizzies. Including the Danish. Because according to answers.com, to be “in a tizzy” in Danish is “helt ude af flippen“. Which honestly sounds about right.  A “tizzy” and a “flippen“. I’m both right now. Tizzied. And flippened.

I was just on the phone with my friend Sarah and we were discussing a mutual friend. A male mutual friend. That I have zero interest in. That I simply consider a good friend. Let’s call him Zephaniah.

[All names have been changed in this story to protect the innocent.... even though really, I'm the only one who looks like an idiot. So let's call me "Cathy".]

Sarah says, “Yeah, I watched you and Zephaniah tonight. I don’t think he knows what to do with you.”

SCRREEECH.

Wait. What. What is THAT supposed to mean? I mean seriously, 68% of the time I don’t even know what to do with me. I know I can be a handful, but why does it feel different to hear it from someone else?

So as I’m laying here on my bed, listening to Sarah explain all the ways that Zephaniah acted awkward and confused at my Cathy’s behavior, an old voice whispered snake-ily in my ear.

“See? You’re too much.”

Stasi Eldridge says in her book Captivating that every woman hears one lie or the other- you are either too much or not enough. And it is rare that I hear that I’m not enough. But often, I think I’m too much. Too loud. Too friendly. Too outgoing. Too involved in other people’s lives. Too much. Just too much.

My friend Sarah meant NOTHING by it- just that literally, he’s more shy than I am and he wants to be careful not to give off the wrong vibes. Which is good. She repeated over and over again how she was sure we were just friends and that just because he is awkward doesn’t mean I am [but Cathy kinda is]. But now I sit here, replaying every Zephaniah & Cathy moment of the last 9 months and wondering if he is secretly either a) deathly afraid of me or b) totally sure I’m in deep love with him which leads to being a) deathly afraid of me.

Hence the reason I found myself helt ude af flippen. Tizzified.

But I’ve had some time. [It's now 11:59pm.] My nerves have calmed and I’ve gone back to the truth I know about how God created me. And truth has been spoken to my heart by Sarah and other friends. So don’t fret.

I have to wonder, though. Am I alone in this? Do you ever hear those lies in your head? That you’re TOO MUCH or NOT ENOUGH? Maybe this isn’t just a girl thing. Maybe dudes deal with it too?

I’ll ask Zephaniah. I mean, I figure I’ll speak to him again…. sometime in 2011.

That’s a line from possibly my favorite Jimmy Fallon skit on SNL when he is a radio host. Do you remember it? Well, I tried for 26 minutes to find a clip to show you, and when I finally did, YIKES>A>RAMA. Not family friendly. [But a funny phrase none the less.]

So hi. Welcome back to AnnieBlogs. It’s only been about 3 weeks, but it has felt longer than that for sure. Your sweet comments and emails were so kind. Thanks for all of that.

It was a great break. No blog writing. No blog reading. And I had what some might call “a lot of free time”. Which I liked. Which has brought me to draw some pretty serious blog-boundaries from here on out. But that was important. No matter how much someone loves their hobby [that's a lame word to use for how I feel about this here corner of the internet sky], there has to be boundaries.

Anyways, that’s all boring. Boundaries, rules, blah blah blah.

Here’s the exciting. Uh…… well…. yeah.  I got nothing. I’ve been working a lot. Nannying for Brother & Sister a few days a week, spending some quality time at Mocha Club, and have I even told you about my new job selling tacos? Sounds like a joke, but it’s not. Here’s proof. See that girl picking cigarette butts out of the plant and carrying dirty dishes? Yeah. You know her.

I spent some good time with God, my friends, and my family. Nothing LIFE CHANGING happened over the last few weeks, but I breathed a lot, and rested, and lived. I loved it.

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. I missed you and your blogs. But, there is no way I can catch up with every post. So, if you have a blog, I would love for you to pick your best post from May so far and leave me the link so I can catch up with you. If you don’t have a blog, why don’t you leave me the highlight of your month so far?

I’m spending some serious time at Frothy Monkey today, so I’m trusting you to give me some good reading material. Otherwise, I’ll just swim around the internet willy-nilly all day.

And it’s never wise to be willy-nilly on a Monday.