I’m a big fan of Proverbs 4:23.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Throughout my life, when I tried to put feet to guarding my heart, it has always had the same direction. To guard my heart meant:

#1-> Don’t practice signing Christmas cards from myself and my current crush.

Merry Christmas!
We’re happy and married- hope you are too!
Sincerely,
Steve and Annie Don’t-I-Wish

#2-> Don’t sit up late at night wondering whether he is conflicted about whether to take me to dinner or lunch. [He's asleep.]

#3-> Don’t picture Steve Don’t-I-Wish and I sitting on the couch and arguing over what movie to watch. [Thank you, You've Got Mail, for that one.]

#4-> Stop obsessing. Just in general. About him. About me. About the future. [Easier said than done, can I get an amen up in here.]

But in the last few weeks, I’ve watched a dear friend of mine fall gently into deep like with a dude. And it’s been cute as pie. I think it’s fair to say that I might have a crush on their budding relationship- it’s that sweet.

And as I sat with them at lunch, he talked and talked of his family and his life and where he was pre-Nashville. She sat quietly.

Later I said, “Kate [not her real name, duh], why didn’t you tell your stories? What was that?” because the girl can tell some tales of God’s love and faithfulness.

Her answer amazed me- she said that she doesn’t share all her stories with him yet. She said that she’s protecting the things that are in her heart. “Not everyone gets every story, Annie,” she said in a voice that was mildly condescending with a touch of motherly undertones.

Don’t you take that tone with me, Kate. Just cause I spill all my beans all the time doesn’t mean….

Ohhhh….. kkaaayyy. I’ve been doing this wrong all along. I mean, I’ve been right- all those top four things are good to do if for no other reason than to remain NOT CRAZY PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

But I’m learning that guarding my heart also means not letting everything out. I misunderstood- guarding my heart isn’t synonymous with guarding my mind. Guarding my heart is protecting what goes in AS WELL AS protecting what goes out. Being wise when it comes to deep friendships with dudes. Being selective about which stories enter the ears of others.

Brooke Fraser has a song called “Deciphering Me” and I have had one of those lines running laps through my mind like it is training for a marathon-

“For I am a mystery. I am a locked room in a tall tower.”

I wanna be her. My friend in “like” who chooses what to keep to herself. I wanna be her. That girl in the locked room in a tall tower. I wanna be her. The girl who looks back and says, “boy was it worth it to guard my heart” because her stories aren’t strewn all over creation.

I know many of you are married and this blog post may not really mean jack to you, but maybe there is a 19 year old who somehow has found her way here and already knows not to practice writing his last name with her first name but didn’t realize that it is important to guard her stories.

Or maybe she’s not 19. Maybe she’s 28. And she writes this blog. And she has a lot to learn.

I’m super excited to announce that we have a winner for the free copy of Holley Gerth’s new book Rain on Me. And the winner is…..

#17:  MrsNaz@BecomingMe

Congrats, Mrs. Naz!  I’ll be emailing you in about 2 minutes to get your address.

And for the rest of you almost-winners, the book is already 15% off and if you enter RAINON20 (Holley’s special code for friends and family) when you check out you’ll receive an extra 20% off everything you purchase by April 1st.

Some of your comments really touched me this week and I want you to know that even if you didn’t win the book, Holley and I are praying for you and asking God to show up for you in this time of need.

Thanks again to sweet Holley for loving our little bloggy-world and giving us free stuff.  Yay!

I’ll be back in a little bit [as in, "sometime today", not like "sometime this month"].

Because literally, that is how rarely I get a trim.

And that’s all it ever is.  A trim.

I, my friends, am the biggest haircut wimp you have ever seen in your entire life when it comes to the cut.

Now the color? I’ll tell you, there was a season from about 2005-early 2008 where I thought if the chemical companies could create the color, I could wear it.

Not true.

And not wallet friendly.  So now, I’m back to what I lovingly call “devastatingly mousy brown”.

Here’s the pic of unwashed precut hair.  I post this for 3 reasons:

1. I have no shame.
2. I’m not afraid to say that I did not wash this hair.  If someone is about to wash it for me [which let me say is THE HIGHLIGHT of the experience for me], I am not going to prewash. That’s dumb.
3. I can’t wait for you to see how shockingly similar the After The Final Cut photo is.

So here is the before…..

The after pic will be up once I recover from the shock of my hair being exactly 1 inch shorter.

12:47pm- UPDATE: Remember that one time that things didn’t go quite as planned but I think I’m okay with it?

Hello, bangs.  Nice to meet you.  Don’t be a pain in the backside please and thank you.

Now, if I can pull off this look everyday, we’ll all stand and applaud in amazement.

Haircut Day 2009 = Success.  Big hugs to DeeDee at Elon Salon who has been cutting my hair since 1993 and still does exactly what she wants even when I say “just a trim”.

If you want, feel free to enjoy an old haircut post.  You can see in the pictures that I went from a calm winter blonde to a blazing brunette.  Lucky for me, devastatingly mousy brown is tres chic for Spring 09.

At least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.  Over and over and over…..

[Sidenote: If you commented on Wednesday and are waiting to hear back from me, I'm TOTALLY going to respond today. It's on my to do list. I promise.]