I became someone’s baby tonight.
Written by Annie on August 5th, 2008Ok, listen.
My mind is racing so fast to get this blog out because it is BLOGGY GOLD.
I went to a show tonight at a place called The Rutledge. Or so the huge black stamp on my hand says. My roomie has met a guy at the YMCA and he plays in a band… blah blah Nash-blah, and so we went to see the band.
I’m not going to tell you the name. And here is why. Because I am about to spend the next few minutes of your time making fun of reliving the experience for you. Let’s just call the lead singer Ron.
So Ron is your typical jerk. Cutey-patootey, tall, dark, and handsome, six pack, white shirt unbuttoned half-way down. He absolutely totally looks like he should star on a soap opera, and according to his website- he has. Glorious. And he sings like he was raised on the Top Gun soundtrack. Women ALL OVER THE PLACE were buying him drinks. Roomie and I are just kicking back and watching the whole thing. He’ll get a drink from Lucky Lady A and then proceeds to sit her down in the northwest corner. Lucky Lady B will buy a drink and he will direct her to the southeast corner. A lady in every corner. NO LIE. It was like watching some type of beautifully choreographed ballroom dancing. Except trashier.
So he performs, sings his songs- namely one called “Hotty”, where, if I remember correctly, the lyrics were “HOTTY HOTTY with a smokin’ HOT BODY”.
[And that's when I decided that I will get paid to write songs here.]
After the show, Ron is working the crowd, mainly the flock that is standing at his feet at the stage. Suddenly, he enters the people. Mr. Popularity Himself walking among the commoners.
And this is when the story went from good to OH-MY-AWESOME.
Because he’s shaking hands, kissing babies, etc. through the whole crowd. He heads towards our table, shakes hands with dude sitting with us. Then looks at me, expectantly.
I say, “You were awesome.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the first lie I’ve told in the state of Tennessee.
But it was all worth is when Ron took my hand between both his hands, looked deep into my eyes, and said, “Thank you, baby.”
BABY? I looked at roomie, while Ron is still standing there, and said, “Did that just happen? Because that was the highlight of my day. It doesn’t get any more bloggable than that.”
Then I proceeded to explain “bloggable” because God bless her sweet heart she doesn’t speak blog-ese. Yet.
But are you KIDDING ME?!? BABY?!? This man that I have been watching all night in a “what will the freak show do next” kind of way just called me BABY. That is sweet sweet nectar for a blogger like myself.
All I can figure is that he must have seen my leopard print key and assumed I was part of his harem.
5
PM
I am ROLLING – wiping tears from my eyes. Oh I wish I had been with you.
Thanks for sharing the Ron-love. Baby.
5
PM
I wanted to laugh outloud so badly, but I would have had two big kids and a husband asking, “What?” 1. I didn’t want to read your blog and lose anything in the translation, and 2. It is my humor to enjoy and not anyone elses. with that said, Baby, I loved it!
5
PM
oh yes. oh yes. and no one puts Baby in a corner, especially in the state of Tennessee.
5
PM
Oh Baby! Gotta love that. Baby, Baby, I’m taken with the notion, to love you with la la la motion . . . (forgot the words).
Go ask Amy (Grant).
6
AM
Oh baby, N-ville is already treatin’ you right.
6
AM
Every single person so far has used the word baby in their comment. That rules.
i just hope he doesn’t find your blog and become your first Nash-enemy.
6
AM
Hotty, Hotty with a smokin’ hot body?
Please excuse me while I go to the potty!
New town; new assortment of crazy.
6
AM
That’s so funny I can’t breathe! And I think I just peed a little.
6
AM
Welcome to Nashville, friend.
6
AM
Too funny!! Thanks for sharing.
6
AM
I don’t think anyone can top Sarah’s comment!
You are too funny. One question…where’s the video???
6
AM
When Missy got back from She Speaks, she e-mailed me and said I must check out your blog, Annie. And man, was she right about you being some kind of funny! This story is hysterical.
I say you go back tonight, just to see what happens. Become a groupie! That’s SOLID GOLD right there.
6
AM
Annie Baby, Blogger extraordinaire, the comments almost topped your entry!
6
PM
i need a picture of this boy!
6
PM
My mom made me read this as soon as i got home from babysitting and i’m oh so very glad she did. It made my life better, that visual.
6
PM
It HAS to be the leopard print key!
6
PM
Annie! Whew! I needed that story to end my day! tears and stomach cramps. whew.
6
PM
Ok, you need to figure out a way to post some pictures of this dude. Maybe I need to go rouge and do it for you!
6
PM
That tactic was the demise of one of the bachelors in the latest Bachelorette. If he called her “baby” one more time … I was going to hurl. Baby bottle hurl. The only time that can be used appropriately is in an exclamation that is non-gendered, like “It’s wash and wear, baby! Wash and wear!” Ron. Blecch.
6
PM
Yes!! It is official, I am coming to visit.
6
PM
THATS IT!!! you have got to write for a living for sure. i was laughing so hard that Kevin came in and asked if i was crying. IM SERIOUS. great blog annie
7
PM
“I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I… I wanna be on you. “
8
AM
UGA, huh?
i’ve decided that we probably know some of the same people…. let’s start with Tyler Reagin. no. i don’t know him. but i’m kin to people who do.
[Sarah sent me - said i would NOT be disappointed in this story, and, baby, she's right.]
9
AM
I found you through Sarah Markley. This is absolutely hilarious. And coming from someone who lives in TN and visits Nashville often, I can soooooo see this happening. Absolutely the funniest thing I have read in days!!!!!!
11
PM
BABY!! I wish I could see this guy!!!!
12
PM
Oh. I love it. Please never leave your house without your camera. This is crucial to those of us who can no longer frequent all the cool places in nashville.
22
PM
Darlin’, if somebody calling you “baby” is bloggable-bloggy-goodness, then you’ve just moved to paradise.
Welcome to Music City USA.
27
PM
I think I know exactly who you’re talking about. Nice job with the retell. Saying he looks like he’s in a soap opera is perfect!