It’s rare that I run out of things to say. I’ve been pondering a blog topic for about 24 minutes now and haven’t come up with anything life-changing, so I’ll just bring on ye old stream of consciousness, which usually ends up a wee bit weird.

I’m an hour away from eating lunch with some teacher friends, I have a short but important list of things I need to purchase from Target, and the sundry items left to pack in my room are annoying me- almost like they are humming at a pitch that pains my ears. Know what I mean?

I have managed, quite successfully, to completely load the next three days with social activities, seeing people, returning borrowed items, spending time with some kids I love, etc.

But the unfortunate thing that I can’t shake is this complete exhaustion that hangs on my back. I think its the remnants of Scotland- the fact that it was constantly in my mind from October 07 until last week. I’m just still so tired. I could, with little to no complaint, remain here, in my bed in my pajamas, for upwards of the entire day. And that can’t be right. But it feels oh so right.

I know I’ll regret it. If I stay in bed all day. I’ll regret not seeing people that I love before I move. I’ll regret not checking to see if my legs work today. Come 6pm, I’ll wonder how it was even possible that I could remain in one spot, give or take a flip or a flop, for 20 hours. Trust me. I wondered that on Monday.

So I’m getting up. I’m choosing life over tired. I will leave Marietta on Sunday and at some point, tired will go away. I’d rather live Marietta and let tired just disappear instead of living tired and having Marietta disappear.

This CD doesn’t come out until next Tuesday, August 5. Trust me, I searched high and low for it. But you can hear the song, and watch both videos, on this website.

May your heart be moved to worship unlike any other Monday.

I know that’s not normal.

Let me tell you how this happened.

I began to peruse the website of the church I will be attending (at least for now) in Nashville. Because as you may know, I will be moving there next week.

Eeek.

Ok, so I wasn’t super panicked about that. In fact, I was looking around with some confidence. “I can do this,” I thought, “all these things seem rather normal. Children’s ministry. Budget talk. Sure. I can handle all these things. This is gonna be swell.”

Then I saw it.

Two weeks after I arrive. A picnic.

Let me list for you a few reasons that I felt a little throw up come to my mouth when I read that:

1. It’s being held at a park that I have never heard of. Great start.

2. It’s August. Do you know what August feels like outside at 4:30pm?

3. I have what some might call a little sweating problem. Which is not the way I want to be remembered. In August. Outside. At 4:30pm.

4. Who will I talk with? Sit with? Sweat near? Sweat on?

5. You know that moment when you show up at a party? And everyone is talking with other people and you look around for a few seconds to find your people? And it feels pretty awkward just standing there but you know it will end soon because you are just mere seconds from finding your people? Yeah. I don’t have any people.

6. Everyone is supposed to bring kites.

7. I don’t own a kite.

8. Because kites and I don’t have a great history. They tend to do the ole nose dive move when I’m at the string. So that’s even cooler.

9. “Hey y’all. Who’s that girl sweating a lot with her kite stuck nose down in the ground?” That question could totally happen.

10. It’s a potluck picnic. No pressure, Annie, just make it delicious and memorable. And not the same as what someone else makes. And label your tupperware. Unless no one else does. Then don’t.

11. They used four exclamation points when announcing the Church Picnic !!!! Which means everyone is really pumped about it.

12. Did I mention it’s outside? In August?

So my strategy?
1. GO ANYWAYS.
2. Invest in and use a large amount of CertainDri ahead of time.
3. Buy a kite.
4. And practice flying it.
5. Consider it a great opportunity to collect some seriously hilarious blog fodder.
6. Leave the very minute things get terribly awkward. Or the moment right before I start to cry. Whichever comes first.
7. Hope that no one I’ve met in Nashville reads my blog yet so that when the picnic comes, they don’t remind me of this post that I am writing really late at night and proceed to tell other picnickers what a serious sweater I am and how poorly I control a kite.

We’ve all been waiting, myself included, to hear the summary of my trip to Scotland. After I returned last year, I did a pretty fine job of recapping the experience. So I’ve been sitting and waiting and starting and deleting and typing and coming up with not a one thing about the trip. I don’t know how to recap it well.

It’s not that it wasn’t memorable. It was ridiculously memorable. I can still feel Scotland.

Its just that things were different this year. I wasn’t there to experience Scotland, though I did. I wasn’t there necessarily to build relationships with Scottish people, though I did. I didn’t pray at the altar with students. I didn’t meet with them in small groups. I was there, as the team leader, to make sure my team members experienced those things. Not me. Not that I wouldn’t have, it wasn’t that I was unwilling- it’s that my role was to facilitate, not to be. It was my job, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to build the environment that made my team successful. Not necessarily being successful in ministry myself.

And I loved it.

I loved watching some of the younger girls, first timers in Scotland, be amazed by the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. I loved watching team members try a fried Mars bar for the first time. I loved seeing our team pray for the Scottish students, be moved to tears by their situations, be confused by the accents, all of it. I loved seeing some of my team members pray out loud for the first time, watch them lead an evening service, or just hear them pour out their heart to me. Just listening to my team members talk about the students and how they want to keep in contact with them, how they love them deeply, it made my trip. The fact that most of the team is already planning to return next year says to me that I did my job, that God did in me what I prayed for months He would do- lead the team.

I wanted nothing more from this trip than to see my team members be changed by God and used by God. It was a dream come true. It was a pile o prayers come true.

So my Scotland recap isn’t about the awesome places we went- like Glencoe, St. Andrews, Loch Ness, etc. It’s isn’t about the awesome people that live there who are like family to me now- Harry and Anne, Gary and Hazel, the Canters, etc. It isn’t about the youth camp and how amazing the whole thing was. It isn’t about the hilarious experiences we had, and there were plenty.

My recap is this- God is worth it. He is the awesome part of this trip.

We’ve meet weekly as a team for months, raised over $50,000, prayed, fasted, emailed, shopped, planned, went on a retreat, and met in small groups. We traveled to Scotland with 22 pieces of luggage and 22 tubs full of camp supplies. We got up every morning of camp at 7am and didn’t finish the day until after midnight each night. We had road bumps and issues and concerns and frustrations to go along with the laughter and joys and beautiful pictures. It was absolutely exhausting and were it not for the power of the Holy Spirit, I would have collapsed into a pile of mess on day 3 of this whole adventure.

But I would do it all again tomorrow to experience God like we did. The people of Scotland, the kids at the camp, are worth it. Knowing God like I know Him now- it was all worth it. Feeling surprisingly prepared for Nashville like I do- it was all worth it.

The truth is, after this trip, I don’t know how to live without Him constantly on my mind.

And that was Scotland.

About twenty minutes away, in a little cul-de-sac, three families get together to eat dinner on Thursday nights. Rotating around from house to house, each Thursday provides a different meal. Because there are kiddos involved, dinner is at 6pm, but it never ends before 8pm.

This is one of those traditions that just morphed into being. There was no evite. No meeting to plan or schedule. It just happened. And keeps happening.

And I get to go.

I know. So weird that I eat dinner in a neighborhood where I don’t live, especially when everyone else lives there, but it’s great. It’s not weird to me at all. In fact, I totally love it. The families never flinched- it was never odd that I was there.

If you ask me, there is nothing a one bit strange about enjoying a meal with a bunch of folks you love, thank you very much.

At first, I called it Mayberry. I mean seriously, who does this anymore? But as the weeks go on, and the dinners continue, each week becomes less like fictional Mayberry and more like what reality should be. One of the Dads reads a passage from the Bible. Everyone discusses current issues. People are vulnerable and honest and share their true person. There’s laughter and kids buzzing in and out of the house, running and playing. It’s normal and awesome.

I recognize that this is not common. And yes, these families are very lucky to have each other and to have stability in their homes. Not everyone has that- trust me. I know. I taught public school for five years.

But, they also don’t take their blessings for granted. They celebrate them- over a french dip sandwich, breakfast for dinner, Varsity night, or chicken ‘n dumplings. And homemade banana pudding. And fresh baked bread. And goodness gracious I could keep listing the foods because it hasn’t quit being delicious.

I could go on and be real sappy and cry myself to pieces because I love these people so much. But I won’t.

Instead, I’ve loaded this post with pics of them being, well, them. Silly. Hilarious. All together lovely. Ish. The men folk had already left, hence the reason it’s ladies night on the camera.

And here’s what I’ve learned from Thursday night dinners. It’s easy to love people that you break bread with. People bring life. Living in a community has little to do with what church you go to or what school your kids attend. It doesn’t have to be a sports team or a Bible study or a neighborhood. It’s just people. Getting together. Hanging out.

Sharing space on purpose, with no purpose, except to share.

I think I understand community better now than I ever have. Thank y’all.

Right?

I mean, I’ve heard it before and heaven knows there are people that I have had to choose to love before. Or at least pretend like I was loving them when in reality my mind was screaming things at them that my mouth would never allow to exit.

That being said. I’m choosing to love Wordpress.

Not in a “lots of ugly things are running through my mind”, but more in a “this is the way it should be so I’m going to fake it until I make it”. A life lesson I learned in 2003 from my roommate.

So I love Wordpress.

And soon all my blog life will be hubbed here. I will feel at home and comfortable. I won’t ignore the things that surround the post area because it is just easier to pretend like I don’t see them instead of realizing I’m too dumb to understand them. And someday, Wordpress will be my b-fry, my nearest internet friend, and I will thank Melanie and Sophie for directing me here, and I will send Lauren, my blog-master, many a free gifts and bribes for all her hard work.

And I’ll love my new home. My new blog home.

I’ve never liked moving. I’ve never liked change. Apparently that issue o mine transcends all areas of my life, including ye old blog.

I choose to love you, Wordpress. Even though I don’t understand you. Not even a little bit.

Your patience with my completely lacking blogging has earned you this video.

My proudest moment? No.

But am I still willing to post this on my blog because my desire for hilarity is higher than my desire to look cool to anyone ever again? Yes.

Did I die at the end of this video? Only a little bit. On the inside. In that place where you believe that you are capable of doing what you see yourself doing successfully in your mind.

And I will blog as soon as my mind quits screaming for a break. And some sleep. In my own bed.

Let’s be honest, I’ll blog as soon as I get my pictures up.

Here’s the highlight video from our camp. Thanks for your prayers. I’m so exhausted I could say some really ridiculous things that fit in one of three categories:
1) Make me cry
2) Make me sound crazy
3) Make you realize then when I get really tired, I get really mean and sarcastic. And that’s never good.

So just watch the video and that will give you the overview of the week. Enjoy. The boys worked hard on it. Heck, our whole team worked so hard this week- I can’t even believe it’s over. I could not be more proud to know these people and serve with them.