Beth Moore blogs.

HERE is the proof.

Good eye, Shannon. You, my friend, would make any internet stalker proud. (And I put myself right in the thick of that category- I’m not talking about the scary kind…I’m talking about the I’m-able-to-find-out-almost-anything-I-want-to-know kind.)

B.Moore has 199 comments on one post. Gracious. Talk about all consuming- she probably should hire someone to run her blog!! But who in the world would want to sit on the computer all day long working on Beth Moore’s blog and responding to comments?

You’re darn right I would. In a heartbeat.

Today I had an eye doctor appointment. After dilation, they take me in a room and dim the lights. I’m in the straight backed chair, sitting chris-cross-applesauce (formerly known as “Indian style”). The nice lady closes the door and I have a revelation. It’s quiet. Totally quiet. Not one kid saying my name. Not one kid yelling at another. Not one email to be read or one book to be devoured (remember….the dilation- see the picture- that’s one serious pupil). Not one phone call to answer or return. No one to talk to, no music to listen to, nothing. Just quiet. And I realized it has been a long time since my life was quiet.

Noise comes in so many forms. I think I didn’t fully understand that until today. I have, presently, four magazines and six books to read. Ridiculous, I know. I’m constantly emailing, myspacing, blogging, blog-stalking, text messaging, etc. None of it involves sound, but it is noise in my life. Heck, half the time I talk to myself- I make my own noise. Not to mention TV, radio, CDs, iPod, phone calls, whatever. My cup overfloweth in the noise department.

And yet I complain that I can’t hear His voice.

1 Kings 19:11-12
“And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God.“

1 Peter 3:3-5
“Our beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.“

It feels like SUCH a long time since I’ve blogged anything. Strange. Because the good joke it that it has been less than a week. That’s what love feels like, I guess.

Have you heard of Paste Magazine? I dig it. Heather and I went to a party at their headquarters last night in Decatur and I was totally impressed with them. I wasn’t as impressed with us- we didn’t mingle well, but we had a real good time. It’s an interesting magazine with an interestingly undercover Christian vibe. Their motto is “Signs of Life in Music, Film, and Culture”. It’s a world of Christianity that I like. I can’t explain it- I’m not doing a good job now. But I like when the world accepts, even praises, a publication (Paste) or a band (Switchfoot or Third Day) for the quality of their work, not considering their “religious” ties, does that make sense? I like when non-Christians recognize high quality art from high quality people… then those people end up loving Jesus.

I read over that paragraph and there is probably something theologically wrong about my thoughts, and I know that in advance. You can comment and tell me anyways, but know that I know that. Someone probably thinks things like Paste are “gray” and we’re supposed to be “black and white”. I respect that. But my response would be this: Do you think the president of the Coca-Cola’s music department would feel comfortable drinking a beer at a Focus on the Family party? Would he even come? He came last night- and is friends with the big guy at Paste, who is a Christian. So there is a connection, a respect, and door opened, that may not occur elsewhere. Without even knowing it, he may have walked right into his salvation. You know?

(Don’t get mad- I’m not a FOTF hater. In fact, I always check “Plugged In Online” before I go see a movie. I love James Dobson. It was just an example.)

Singer/Songwriter de jour- Brandon Heath.

People keep asking me “How are you?”. I bet you get that a lot, too, don’t you? It’s a polite opener. And the answer is “good”. Then the follow up is “What have you been up to?” I don’t have an answer. And it frustrates me.

Do I say, “Well, I’ve been hanging out with my friends and trying to figure out what it looks like to be a 26 year old /single /school teacher /reader /cook /budget keeper /granddaughter /writer /friend /Christian /mentor /dreamer /blogger /daughter /sister /tutor in Kennesaw. And I think I miss the mark every day.” Because something tells me that is not what people want to hear. I would get a lot of awkward smiles.

So my answer is this- “Working hard on the Missions Auction. Wanna donate something?” to church friends and “Nothing much. But no news is good news, right?” to everyone else. What people want to hear and what I say rarely match up. Oh well.

But I want you to know that if you’ve called to hang out, or want to get together, or wish I blogged more, or wish I would invest in your kids more often, and I’ve putzed out on you, I recognize that I’m not too good at life right now. I don’t know why. Don’t worry about me- I’m not sad or depressed or anything. I’m just learning how to balance. And when you’re learning how to do something, I think you must have to do it wrong a good bit. But I’m getting it right some too. I think.

On a completely different note- I don’t want to miss God this season. The main reason I say this is because I’ve been telling God that everyday, but it still feels like I am. Does that make any sense? Know the feeling? So maybe if I blog it, and He reads my blog today, it will change something.

This is a random blog day. If you are a symmetrical person and you like things that have order, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry we’re friends because I bet I make you a little crazy. But I’m glad we’re friends because that shows that you are a patient person, and I want to learn that. Will you teach me?

Here is the letter I mailed out this week. Please take time to read it.

(And I promise, as I continue to defeat this dreaded cold, my blog world will return to normal. But honestly, I’ve been meaning to put this up- tonight just seemed like a good night.)

April 17, 2007
Dear friends and family,

I can’t believe that it was 7 years ago (May, 2000) that I went to Scotland on a mission trip with the Wesley Foundation at UGA. To this day, I consider it one of the most influential and life-changing experiences for me. I saw God move in amazing ways in the lives and hearts of children and teenagers- and I was forever changed. In fact, if someone would have invited me to stay, I would have seriously considered not coming home!

But I did return to UGA (I just love Georgia football too much! ?) with the promise to myself that if the chance every came around again, I would return to Scotland. And I am excited to say that it has! July 11-25, 2007, I will be in Scotland with a team from Riverstone Church. We will be working with several churches around the district of Kilmarnock right outside of Glasgow, Scotland, to lead a Youth Camp. We’ve found an overnight Scout camp to rent out for the week where the students from the churches can come and get away from their daily routine and hopefully experience God in a unique way. The camp can house 100 people, and other places offered facilities nearby in case we have an overflow of youth sign up… which is our prayer! For the Youth Camp, along with other planning responsibilities, I will also be one of two camp speakers (Tom Tanner being the other). I know what you’re thinking- that’s way out of my league. I agree!! ? But that seems to be where God likes to drop me to remind me that He is made STRONG in my weakness. I wonder if it is proportionate… in which case, He will be made REALLY strong.

My primary reason for this letter is that I DESPERATELY need your prayers- even now, 3 months before our trip. There are no words, jokes, or stories that I can come up with on my own that will show these students the love of God. I need Him to lead and guide me. I need God to go before us and prepare the way. We are anxious and excited about what we feel that God has for the people of Scotland AND for the members of our team. But I know that I need YOU praying for me as I go. As the trip gets closer, I will send another letter letting you know other specific ways to pray.

Also, I have to raise about $1500 to go. If you feel like you would like to help me financially, please make/send your check to Riverstone Church (2005 Stilesboro Road, Kennesaw, GA 30152). Please do not write my name on the check- just attach a note saying “Annie Downs/Scotland Mission Team”. Though important, the need for money is secondary to the need for prayer. God has never let me down before; He has always provided all that I need, so I believe He will do that again. If you feel that He wants to use you to meet that need then that is excellent. Your financial contribution will be greatly appreciated, but your commitment to pray is what I desire most.

I’m very excited about this chance to return to Scotland. I haven’t been on a mission trip in a couple of years and I have felt my selfish heart expand while my self-LESS heart shrank like the Grinch. I’m grateful for the opportunity to reverse my heart condition, serve our living God, and see Him move around the world!

That all may know His LOVE,

Annie Downs

GERMS.

I made all my students raise their hand today if they had a cold. Then I publicly scolded them for sharing it with me. I’m calling it an UBER-cold. Cause it’s that good….or bad…or strong. I’m not even sure it’s the right way to use UBER, I just wanted to.

I have a good blog in me, but I’m just so stuffy and runny and cold-y, that I can’t produce quality writing. So sorry.

Later this week, your patience and kindness will be rewarded. But for tonight, read some of the super rad blogs that I’ve listed here on the right.

And a cool picture. Cause I love you, that’s why.

Let me tell you something you may, or may not, know about me. I, as a faithful member of the Downs family, live by this motto- the 7 Ps. Mom calls it the 6 Ps- can you guess which word she leaves out?

Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Read it again. Think about it. It’s good. Real good.

Here is a prime example of living by the 7 Ps- when I buy shampoo, I buy 2 bottles. Every time. Because it would be COMPLETELY against the 7 Ps to have to go out and buy a bottle the day you run out. That is NOT prior proper planning. The 7 Ps would say, “Buy more than you need so that when you run out, there is a backup right there in case you are unable to go to the store that night.” And it costs the same in the long run. I love it. Thank you, Tom Downs, for teaching me the best (non-Biblical) motto in the world.

Costco, my new crush, is 7 Ps heaven. No joke.

Here is why I went today. Now that I’m a one-woman show at my house, I figure I can 7 Ps the whole place- top to bottom. So I went for toilet paper and paper towels. In mass quantity.

As I entered, I knew I was in trouble when a magazine rack for only $15 caught my eye. This is the perfect storm for me- bulk items and home decor that is CHEAP. Have I mentioned that about myself? I’m mildly Scroogical about my money, so I’m ALWAYS trying to save a penny.

I’m pushing my cart along, now holding a new magazine rack, and everything is calling out to me- from movie tickets to sharpies to books. But I’m being smart- “Don’t put it ALL in the cart, Downs. Bulk is good. Debt is not.”

I get what I came for- paper towels. Toilet paper. And oh, clementines? My favorite citrus fruit? Okay, one box won’t hurt. And yeah, I am a little low on cleaning supplies- 3 cans of Pledge here, a HUGE bottle of Tide there. No big deal. I’m almost out of cereal- biggest box of Honey Bunches of Oats ever created? Don’t mind if I do. Hello, six truly large cans of stewed tomatoes- I don’t know why, but I’m buying you.

A $50 DVD set of all three Anne of Green Gables movies? Absolut…… wait….. $50? Uh, no. You won’t fool me on this one, Costco. Don’t take advantage of my love for you…. and Prince Edward Island.

Some money later, I walk out victorious- doing the 7 Ps strut. I’ve beaten the rain, I have supplies for the tomato soup I’m making for dinner (now), and I have enough paper towels to soak up Lake Burton.

It was all together awesome. I get home and think, “You know what I should do with all this stuff from Costco?”

Yep. Check it.

Ha- the entire blog I wrote just got deleted. I guess that reminds me again that my words are worth VERY little compared to the thickness of the Word of God. (I think thickness works there- like pudding, not like fog. You with me?)

Hebrews 11:6
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists AND that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (emphasis mine)

Wonder about that truth for a while.

It’s not every day that Jarrett’s daddy turns 30. Actually, it’s not today. Or yesterday. But the surprise party WAS yesterday. And it ruled.

Except when poor Jarrett was subjected to this torture. God help that boy being raised in a house divided. Go dawgs.
Here’s Jarrett helping Jeff blow out his tool candles. Haley found those and I think they are awesome. Haley, Christian, Molly, and I made a practice German Chocolate Cake (Jeff’s fav) a few weeks ago, insuring our performance last night would be perfect. Aside from the liquidy icing (notice puddle), it went really well.
After the main party ended, and Christian was exhausted from making margaritas (in a rita machine that she OWNS- you’re so jealous), a crazy game began downstairs with the red pool ball, the cue ball, and sprinting around the table- a version of HORSE. I’m not going to take time/space to explain it all, but I will show you this picture of (L to R) Tyler, Jeff, Philip, and Junior playing the game. It was funny. And sweaty.
In fact, Junior got so warm, that he decided to go outside, and then apparently he was missing out on something, so he had to get back in the thick of things. And scare Haley to death.
The party was WAY fun. Haley is great at throwing parties, if you need that done. In fact, if you want to PAY her to throw a party for you, I’m sure she’d be down with that.

Part of me wants to be cheesy here about how awesome Jeff is and how grateful I am for him and Haley and Jarrett, but just imagine a sweet paragraph inserted in this space about how I love the Watkins and let’s call it a night.

Friday night was our first FaceDown prayer service at the new church building. It’s weird. And awesome. I can’t believe we have our own building. Our home. The service was amazing. To pray in the place that we have been WAITING for, to look at the sanctuary, the youth room, all these places that we all have been wanting for our own, it was moving. And let me tell you- the decor is fabulous. I know that’s not life changing, but it feels like a home. A REALLY inviting and lovely home. Well done, Melissa and friends.

As I left after FaceDown, I saw a tree. As you know, the weather is whack right now, and the wind was blowing so fiercely. And this little tree, hardly in the ground, was anchored by three strings. All of the sudden, and this won’t surprise you, I loved that tree. That sweet little tree was fighting against the wind, determined to stand up. It was like the tree was saying, “I’m meant to be here. I’m not going anywhere.” So young but not afraid of the wind. And I’m telling you- the wind was serious.

And then I thought of how much the tree was like our church- young, roots so freshly put in the ground that there are still strings holding it there, but not going anywhere. Wind or not, it’s not moving. It’s here to stay, a permanent fixture in the community. Bringing life.

I’m not trying to be overly philosophical, I promise. I just was blessed by the simplicity of new life, a blossoming tree, growing, or at least fighting to stand, beside a blossoming church.

It’s my tree. I’ve claimed it. I’ve decided I want to watch it grow. I want to notice the tree tomorrow, on our first Easter. I want to remember the tree the first time I attend a wedding on a summer afternoon. I want to watch as the strings get removed and the roots that are ready to grow are given the chance to be the support system. I’m ready to see the tree lose it’s leaves in fall. I want to look at the tree the first time I leave a funeral that breaks my heart. The tree will change over the years, and I’ll be there to see it.

It’s my tree. It’s my church. It’s my heart. And we’re all blooming together.

Happy Easter. I love You, Jesus.