Lame. I know. But since when do I let you just watch something without my personal commentary? Never. Not now. Not ever. That’s never.

This is a video from last Saturday- the concert I saw with Phil Wickham and Shane Everett. They are singing a new Shane & Shane song. It rules.

Enjoy.

I love the line- “We love You, Jesus, in and out of seasons”. That’s very right.

(I was going to say something mildly spiritual to close, but it seems inappropriate now that I have made a joke about the amount of typing/blogging/viewer guiding that I do. Amen.)

Who’s interested?

http://www.womenoffaith.com/conferences/atlanta/

I’m reading a book right now by Sheila Walsh (she’s speaking one of the days) that is awesome. And, Beth Moore? Are you kidding? She rules. Every day.

So maybe if we get a group together we can get the “group rate”?

And we all have my dear friend Shannon to thank for the heads-up. Which don’t worry- a STELLAR review of her STELLAR new book is coming soon…. as soon as I finish it. But just go ahead and order it so it will get to your house by the time I finish and review it. That way, you won’t be wishing for it and pay the extra price for quick shipping. Listen, I’m always looking out for you……

Let’s go see Beth and Sheila!! You in?

How much truth is TOO much?

Isn’t that a genius question? A scary question, that could have uncomfortable answers. And not a one of you are surprised it came from the lovely ladies of book club.

Because a “good Christian” should probably say that no amount of truth is too much. But I don’t agree. Words are so powerful. Words, once out of your mouth, can never, NO NOT EVER, be taken back. You can receive forgiveness, and I believe full forgiveness, for something you say, but that doesn’t erase that you said it. In my personal life, I can attest that hurtful words (some true, some not) spoken to me in the last 6 months have left an imprint on me that, though I forgive, can not be covered, smothered, or chunked enough to disappear.

I think that is why it can be called “brutal honesty”- because it is that- brutal. Pain-filled. And if you just dive right in to saying whatever is on your mind, trying to sweeten it with the syrup of “I just had to tell the truth”, but you break someone’s spirit or heart in the meantime, don’t you think you could have done something different? Maybe not….. it’s just a thought…..

I’m reminded of this often with my students. I’ll say, “You are about to send me over the edge” then the Holy Spirit will quicken my heart and I’ll follow it up with, “But I love you for it”. Not because I’m a super teacher- I’m not. But because I KNOW the hurt of words spoken too quickly, out of anger and frustration, and I don’t want to wound any of my students- especially when I may be the only representation of His LOVE in their little lives. That doesn’t mean I do it right every time, or that I have never said a hurtful word (Tatum can testify to that), but I am actively pursuing a wise tongue.

And that, bringing it back full circle, is what was brought up a book club- speaking truth, even though painful, can be handled well when handled with HUMILITY. On the parts of both the speaker and the receiver. We read “The Joy Luck Club”, where these 4 sets of mothers and daughters live on the outer edges of truth- where it is right there beside them, but they are unwilling to touch it. We don’t want to be like that, either.

Oh, it is such a fine line that I slip off of all the time. I don’t want to AVOID truth in order to make everyone comfortable, but I only want to speak the truth that is necessary and bite my tongue on the things that aren’t.

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

So I think our book club conclusion was that when truth is spoken WITHOUT wisdom and humility, that is too much truth.

Luckily, we have a God who humbled Himself (Philippians 2:5-11) and is perfect in wisdom (Colossians 2:2-3). We depend on Him- He does it right every time. So we are reminded that we can trust Him with all things- including the words we speak.

Book club has again made me think. PLEASE know that I write all this with the FULL knowledge that I have not grasped this concept, even a little bit. But I am praying, and seeking Him, to be a woman with wise words- true words, wisely spoken.

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I know you’ve read about Phil Wickham before. It’s true- I have a deep love for singer/ songwriters. It is getting ridiculous the way I am moved by lyrics.

You know, if you’ve been around this blog-block long enough, that I love writing. I love words. And I love people who write WELL. I’m not going to define that for you…. I wouldn’t know how. But I can tell you when I read or hear a good writer. And Phil is that.

He’s anointed. And I don’t throw that term around lightly. In fact, if I could find a less churchy (and overused) adjective to insert there, I would. Maybe gifted? I’m not sure. I’ll just say this- God has enabled Phil Wickham to experience Him in such a real way personally that it overflows into his music, lyrics, and performances. The Holy Spirit showed up.

We actually heard three separate performances last night, Shane & Shane being the other awesome one. (Fact: Shane B wasn’t there- his father had a heart attack Saturday. So it was Shane E. and Phil. It was wicked good.) But Shane B is another phenomenal song writer. (That’s for another day…)

The fact that P Dub (our nickname for Phil) has a great singing voice and is talented musically rules. But it is his words, the phrases that form in his mind and flow into songs, that change me. I told him this last night (yeah, I talked with him), and I mean it- his songs draw me closer to Jesus. I love Jesus more because of the words I sing to Him- that Phil wrote.

Here’s just a sampling:

“I want to hear the thunder of all You are. To be captured inside the wonder of all You are. I want to live, I want to breathe, to search out Your heart and all of Your mystery.“
Ummm….how even to respond to that? The thunder of all God is? Yes. To search out all of His mystery? Double yes.

My personal favorite song right now is “I Adore You”.
“I adore You. I’ll sing it with all my heart. I adore You. I love everything You are.”
It makes me want to cry. Which Marie Claire reminded me isn’t the hardest act to accomplish (touche), but none the less. It still does. To tell God that I love EVERYTHING that He is. What even does that mean? Think about it. It’s so simple but so profound. Genius.

Okay, fine, I’ll put a picture of MC and myself, before she made fun of me.I’ve been pondering this all day today. What is it that makes a good songwriter? Or a good writer in general? And here’s what I’ve come up with. God gives people talents, skills. Writing, for example. (You can really insert anything you want here, but writing it what I’m focused on.) It is completely out of our control. I wish I was a good singer. I’m not. Out of my control. BUT, the depth of the writing comes from EXPERIENCING God. Being in His presence. Living life with Him, allowing Him to guide and move you, allowing Him to mold you. And THAT combo, God’s gift + your dedication to knowing Him, I believe, is what produces this beautiful form of worship.

You can only write what you know. Phil Wickham knows things about God that are deep and true. And because he invests in his relationship with God, he writes songs that are profound and good and real. Then I blog about it, then maybe you and a friend talk about it- and God gets all this talk-time because Phil Wickham writes what he knows. Do you see the cycle? It is beautiful.

And this is NOT a ‘praise Phil Wickham‘ thing. I’m sure he makes mistakes, blah blah blah. [Insert whatever you want me to say here so that you know it's not about Phil.] But, he challenges me. I have no control over the gifts God has given me, nor do you. But what I DO have control over is the amount of time I spend in His presence. I want my life, maybe my writing?, to reflect God that strongly. I want people to know HIM better because of what I write. I have to do my part- be in the Word, live life with God, etc. Then allow Him, BEG HIM, to use the overflow of that to glorify Himself.

Because in the end, if no one ever remembers my name, but you have a meaningful conversation about something I wrote one time, and you see a small glimpse of our big God- just the possibility of that motivates me to know God more. To seek after the mystery of who He is. Because I DESPERATELY want my life to glorify Him and make Him known.

And on a final dork-alert note, I took this picture with Phil. The things I’ll do for my blog community. I just wanted you to see him up close. I know, I smiled too big. Make fun of me in your head- I’m fine with that. But I was laughing at the fact that I had just told this guy the spiritual implications his music has in my life, then I ask for a picture FOR MY BLOG. I’m a dork. What? Did you forget or something?

He says he’ll be in the ATL in the fall. You don’t even have to beg. Of course we can carpool.

Let me just tell you. I love my MacBook. I promise I do….. I think….. But there is a mild (major) amount of frustration that is bubbling in me because I’ve been sitting here for an HOUR AND A HALF trying to edit and upload pictures. When I researched this purchase ($$), I thought iPhoto was going to be my best friend…. tonight it has been my enemy. O iPhoto, I will defeat you. Or at least learn how to use you to my fullest advantage. Aaron, or some other Mac-lova, help me.

I was really motivated and inspired to blog (and it was GOOD), but it has slowly drained from me with each re-edit of the same photos. But I finally got some pictures on here, so I’ve got to blog something. It’s now 12:54am; I’ve been sitting on my couch trying to work this out since 11:35pm.

And did anyone else plan to watch SNL thinking that Peyton Manning was going to be hilarious? Well, it’s been lame. And that added to my frustration. I miss Will Ferrell. But the skit on right now- it’s decent. Peyton just said, “I slow danced with the dog today.” He also said, “I walked around today with a piece of ham in my pocket just so that I would have a secret.” That’s funny.

Oh my gosh!! The only picture I had been able to load onto my blog just got deleted. I was ready to prep you for a good blog tomorrow, and now…… there are no words…….

Yes there are. I just don’t type them.

Isaiah 40 (online)

Psalm 20 (online)

I just had to today. Usually, if Haley and Molly don’t want to walk at the mountain, it is a sweet relief to me. But not today. I needed it. I can’t explain it. I left school today so fully frustrated that I could have jumped out of my skin. My brain is so full of thoughts and wonders that it was NO help at all. (Thanks a lot, brain.)

So I grabbed my iPod and headed to the mountain (an entire 2 minute drive). Usually, from the parking lot up the road to the peak is enough fun for me. Just walk to the top lot and then loop around and head back down. But for some reason, I knew the only medicine for my frustration was the trail. It is STEEP. Truly, I hate it. Whenever Mo and Haley suggest it, I smile on the outside, cringe on the inside. But today, it called me. Does that even make sense? That sounds so granola, but at the time, it wasn’t. It was right. I had to walk the trail. And I had to go all the way to the top. No quitting this time.

And I was steppin’ too, buddy. I mean, I was flying by people…. the first 2 tenths of a mile. My brain was in a fight with itself (don’t even ask, just nod) and I needed to walk fast to keep up with the argument.

Then this Bebo Norman song came on the cute green iPod (thanks, Anna!) about 1/2 way up, and I knew I needed 2 things:
1) to listen to the lyrics.
2) to stop and breathe, because my heart was about to beat out of my chest. Who do I think I am? Some marathon runner? Nan Willoughby? Give me a break.

So I did. Here are the lyrics to “Into The Day”:

You could turn a hundred years and never empty all your fears
They’re pouring out like broken words and broken bones
They could fill a thousand pages, be the cry for all the ages
And the song for every soul who stands alone

The ache of life is more than you are able

Hold on love, don’t give up
Don’t close your eyes
The light is breaking through the night

Step out into the day, all the clouds and all the rain are gone
It’s over now
Step out into the sun, for you have only begun to know
What it’s all about
As the hungering dark gives way to the dawn, my love
It’s over now

Time will let the story told grow and grow ‘til it unfolds
In a way that even you cannot ignore
You can say the seasons change but never if you just remain
In a place where the freeze is at your door
What you don’t know is the signs are right for the turning tide

Hold on, hold on
It won’t be long
So hold on

And then I thought, “Was Bebo just in my head for that brain fight or what?!” Because he said what I needed to hear- it’s okay to have fears, it’s okay to feel like things are changing without my permission, it will be alright, because the story is going to end really well, the hard part is over now.

Annie, you’re only BEGINNING to know what this is all about.

And the signs are right for a turning tide.

I walked all the way to the peak. I touched the little marker on the top that Cheryl Cagle says you must touch. I came back down the road, grinning to myself. I’m sure people thought I had lost my mind. But I felt blessed. What I planned as a stress relieving experience, was an encounter with the living God who sees my little life and orders even my iPod so that I know He’s right here.

That is LOVE.

(Disclaimer- sorry these have been so lengthy lately. Glad you made it all the way down here. Give yourself a cookie.)

Isaiah 53:5

But He was pierced for our transgressions,

He was crushed for our iniquities,

THE PUNISHMENT THAT BROUGHT US PEACE WAS UPON HIM,

and by His wounds we are healed.

I have honestly been sitting in my big white chair for 35 minutes thinking about that one line. I’ve looked at about 20 different versions and dissected each word (thank you, biblegateway.com). The verse is one we hear often, I think, especially the part about “by His wounds we are healed”. But how have I missed the fact that the punishment that brought me PEACE was on HIM?

I still don’t even know that I totally get what that means. Call me slow, but I guess I didn’t realize peace came at a price. I mean, I think about wars and I understand that when it comes to our safety and our country’s peace, someone is paying that price. But I guess I haven’t really thought about the fact that to live in personal peace, in my heart, Someone paid for that as well. I know He paid for my sins and my healing, but peace? Who knew. (Probably you, but you’re just wiser than me. We’ve known it for a while.)

I can’t shake it. I can’t move my mind to another idea. Because the next question that comes up is this- How many times do I CHOOSE to live in unrest instead of living in the peace that Jesus has already been punished for? It is mine for the taking, and yet I’d rather worry? Good gravy.

No wonder Jesus talked to people about not worrying. He was saying, “Look, I’m about to get seriously punished so that you don’t have to live your life full of worry. So why don’t I go ahead and give you a heads up- choose peace. I’m going to go ahead and pay for it, so take it.”

That’s LOVE. He really went through it for me. I still don’t think I understand it. But I am deeply grateful.

Thoughts, anybody?
Ryan? Aaron? Brad?

(You can blame this too-deep-for-a-Saturday-morning conversation on “Glory Revealed” Track 2.)