I’m just too tired today. “Tired” probably isn’t the right word, but it is the safe word, so that’s what you get.

Who can hold the stars
And my weary heart?
Who can see everything?

I could climb a mountain
Swim the ocean
Or do anything
But it’s when you hold me
That I start unfolding
And all I can say is

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever’s in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever’s in front of me
I’ll choose to sing hallelujah

Amen. Thanks, Bethany.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=0427c55498080ccb723b28eG06121904

(copy this whole thing and paste it into your browser)

If you’ve never been a teacher, here’s a tip. This is the kind of stuff that makes 4th graders double over with laughter.

If you don’t know me, this is the kind of stuff that makes me double over with laughter.

I went to Buckhead Church this morning, and the worship leader said that. “The birth of forgiveness”. I had never looked at Christmas like that. But that is so what it is. The birth of forgiveness, the birth of hope, the birth of joy, the birth of what matters most. Beautiful. Jesus is.

If I could type all that was in my head, in this moment, you would say one of two things:
1) Wow.
2) TMI. (too much information, for those of you who aren’t hip to the lingo)

Neither one are responses I want today, so unfortunately I can’t be the open book (open screen?) that you are looking for.

I’ll tell you this- I have never trusted God more than I do right now. And that is not based necessarily on my circumstances or what is going on around me. It’s what is going on in me. The peace that is filling my heart. The desires that are birthing in me. The old things that are dying and the new that are being born. (Not literally- that’s every other friend of mine) The moments when what is going on between Him and I is more personal and deeper than I thought was possible. The experiences that put me on my face in worship or in pain- but all from Him for His glory.

Who is this God, that He is mindful of me? That He knows me so personally and intimately that one single tear from my eye can move His heart? That my laughter is His joy? That He has numbered my days and is directly involved in every part of my life?

Tonight, it amazes me. It makes my heart want to beat out of my chest.

Christmas is the birth of all that. I love Him.

So, my teacher friend Jenn comes into my room talking about hearing music by Chinese Train Car. Guess what she meant?

Mannheim Steamroller!

If that doesn’t make you laugh outloud, or at least giggle, you’ve had a long day.

I’m warning you before you even get settled into this blog that it is going to be choppy and themeless and scattered. Welcome to my life.

Let me tell you the best quote of the day. Thank you, Jesse Weber.

“Blogs are not replacements for end of the year [Christmas] letters.”

Oh wise sage Jesse strikes again. So profound- I actually wrote it down. I hope that is not how you, my invisible reader friend, feels about this particular blog. I hope you don’t feel like I’m telling you how much my puppy has grown, or how great my new cubicle is at the office, or how close I came to winning a car, or anything like that. I try instead to let you live inside the insanity that is my mind for about 7 minutes a couple of times a week. I hope it makes you grateful to be on that side of the screen. Can you even fathom how much junk gets filtered out before I actually publish this thing? Yeah, my brain is similar to my grandfather’s garage- full of things that were once useful but are now trash- only around because there is a strange peaceful feeling found in the clutter.

I warned you.

Molly (shout out to my most faithful reader) and I went for a late din-din at Sam and Dave’s BBQ and ole Uncle Jesse walks in and sits down with us. We proceed to discuss everything under the internet sun and life in general. I have my fingers crossed (which has made typing difficult) that Jesse is at home right now, eating his BBQ and mac and cheese, and planning to begin his own blog.

Kathleen says that monkey bread is “the ultimate carb”. I consider it “the ultimate awesome”.

If you haven’t heard, I have the most amazing class this year, including the dude with the stache. I love teaching. Which puts a major kink in the ole “let’s find a new career” plan. But that’s okay- remember I don’t know anything. Still surrounded by overturned tables. (see previous blog titled “This Is What I Know”) God will make all things clear. I love Him.

I had bread with honey on it for breakfast. And I’m dying to know what chemical reaction happens that causes the honey bread to get crunchy when the honey soaks in. I should ask someone, like Mr. Wizard. Who’s with me, 80s’ kids?

I was wishing I had a good picture to post now. Kelli’s cell group is downstairs, so my room has become my holding pen, which is okay cause I really like it. I don’t love to fold laundry, but it is currently preventing me from sitting in my favorite chair in the world. So, I thought, before I folded the laundry, I would let you see the situation. I was unable to fold at the appropriate time because my roommates needed the dryer; I was already asleep. I can’t fold clothes in my sleep. So to the chair they went. I promise I usually fold immediately. Well, immediately-ish.

This may not be the most high quality blog I’ve ever done, but it sure has been fun.

What is it about Tuesdays and Sundays and blogging? Don’t know.

I just returned from a good night at 7:22. It’s so funny to go to this Bible study now- I remember being 19 and thinking that 7:22 was the coolest college thing to do. I have such a totally different perspective on it today. I guess all along it spoke more to people in my current age bracket, and “life place” (such a lame phrase)-people out of college, with jobs, living life as a single adult. I guess when you are in college, you think everything is about you, including the focus of 7:22. (No comments please on how I sometimes still act like that- Kathleen!!)

When I was in college, it was about driving over from Athens and singing fun worship songs and listening to Louie Giglio. Tonight it was about hearing Jarrett Stevens message (which you NEED to hear- www.722.org) and thinking about how it applies to my life.

What consumes me?

Good question, Mr. Stevens. Well played. Touche. (and any other movie quote you would like to insert here.)

Tonight was also about con-scanning. You don’t even want, or need, to know what that means. Just trust that it involved myself and Nathan Bedingfield standing on the stage of 7:22 when it was over, searching the crowd with our Chuck Norris-like vision, and then being asked to move by an old man. It was a daunting task. And all that work to no avail.

Kristian Stanfill led worship and he sang this song twice- at the beginning and end. And for some reason I love it. Don’t you fret, friend, I have already purchased it on ITunes.

Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day.
And in Your presence, all our fears are washed away, washed away.
Hosanna, Hosanna, You are the God who saves us, worthy of all our praises.
Hosanna, Hosanna, come have Your way among us, we welcome You here, Lord Jesus.

Good for where I am, and who I am, today.

On a completely NON-spiritual note, I got my hair done this afternoon. When I get seriously rich and famous, I’m gonna pay the lady who is the assistant to come to my house and wash my hair cause that is so nice. I guess I’m gonna have to get one of those special sinks with the chair and all, but really, I’ll be rich and famous. Purchases like that will be comparable to buying post-it notes now- so cheap but so necessary.

I tell you about my desire for a personal hair washer and sink/chair combo knowing full well it is a pipe dream. So don’t worry.

I type that knowing full well I can’t exactly define “pipe dream” for you. But I think I used it correctly.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted since Tuesday. I’ve been busy. I’m a social butterfly. What can I say?

So I just wrote for about 45 minutes all about why I miss volunteering with the youth group today. (Hence the title- “Part Deux”.) But here’s the funny thing about me- I don’t want to rewrite it. To feel better, to feel like the situation is resolving in my heart, I just have to write it. I wrote it once. And I feel better. God and I dealt with it, I wrote about it, and now I’m set.

Here’s the summary- I miss volunteering with the youth group, but when God asks you to give up something good, it’s only because He wants to give you the best. We can all just believe that the best is on it’s way.

Now, I’m watching “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”. I probably haven’t watched this fine film since I was 9-ish years old. (Laugh if you will, but you were 9-ish once too.) It’s horrible. I have yet to find one redeeming lesson in it, except that the Alamo does not have a basement.

One of my best friends, Danielle, had her second baby on Thursday night. She’s beautiful. 1 down, 3 to go- Haley, Emily, and Jennifer- all due in January/February. I thought it was fun when all my friends got married- but that’s got nothing on them having babies. It’s awesome.

Enough rambling. I’m losing track of what’s going on with Pee-Wee, and I’ve invested so much into this movie already that I kind of feel pressure to watch to the end. Where this pressure comes from, I have no idea.

Let me also say, in honor of my cell group friends, the Varners- Go Hornets! Gary coaches at Roswell High School and they will play this Saturday night for the state championship.

Have I mentioned lately that I love blogging? Cause I do.

in blogging twice within an hour.

I write. I just have to. It’s how I get things out of the gerbil cage that is my mind.

Psalm 116:7
Be at rest once again, o my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

In all the things that are in my mind, and all the worries, fears, frets, and discouraging thoughts that fly in and out between my ears, this is the constant that I have to hold tightly. That no matter what the situation looks like, no matter what I feel (or don’t feel), no matter how safe I think I am or how vulnerably my heart beats, this is what I know to be true. I can rest. He has been good to me. He is being good to me. He will be good to me.

Because that’s just how I roll, here’s the same verse in other versions:

The Message:
I said to myself, “Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings.”

The Amplified Bible:
Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

Italian (because that’s how cool biblegateway.com is):
Ritorna, anima mia, al tuo riposo, perché l’Eterno ti ha colmata di beni.

And for my Marie, French:
Retrouve donc ta paix, mon âme, car l’Eternel t’a fait du bien.

And a little Hebrew lesson for you (cause I’m a dork)– the word for “bountifully” in Hebrew is gamal– which means to repay, to reward, to deal fully with.

I like that- God has dealt (and is dealing) fully with me.

Isn’t that the truth.

If you aren’t in the teaching profession, enjoy this nugget from today.

I pick my kids up from lunch, and I have to immediately stop the line to say this:
“Susie, quit flossing your teeth with your hair. That’s gross.”

As if that wasn’t enough to make you squeamish, the girl behind her leans up, taps her on the shoulder, and says:
“Hey, you do that too? Cool.”

Yes, it was the first time I threw up in front of my students.

(only kidding. But just about the throw up part. The rest is disturbingly true.)

I have so many weekend things to tell you, my “I think you read this but I can never really be certain” friends.

One of my all-time best friends, Danielle, had a baby shower Saturday morning. I won a gift. I took it. (Obvious decision, right?) Another girl won a gift, then gave it to Danielle. I felt like a total putz. But I still brought home a new ornament for my tree. Kathleen and I made a lot of inappropriate jokes under our breath throughout the shower, so that made it way fun. Danielle totally knew we were not behaving, but she was used to it and knows that she is never the brunt of those jokes, so no worries.

Saturday night, I got to see my Christian illusionist (read “magician”) friend Drew. I like to rank my new friends at the end of every year, and he is definitely a Top 5 new friend of 2006. He lives in Washington state and I don’t talk to him all that much, but when we do see each other or email or call, we spill our beans and can totally relate. Especially about magic. We talk “shop” a lot- you know, the latest gadgets, tricks, illusions, magic stuff.

(Please tell me you laughed there and didn’t wonder whether I can really do magic. Of course I can’t.)

Kelli and I played 2 awesome games of foozball (how even do you spell that?) while waiting on Drew to pack up his “bag of tricks”. She beat me both times. We’re thinking of investing in a table for our home. Yes, it was that fun. Joey and Chandler were really on to something.

Got home at 1am (Easy now, we were in Newnan. Long commute). Up at 8am for cell group. Church at 11am. Lunched with the Battles at 1pm. Went to a basketball game at 5pm, where I was told multiples times, “Yeah, blog this.” So I just did.

Then, tonight, I put on my big girl smile and my brave britches and went to a singles event with people from Buckhead church. We watched an amazing video called “Most”. There were a lot of awkward get-to-know-you conversations and a lot of people trying to read my Jesus-o-meter. But also a lot of very nice people all looking for the same thing. And I did get one card- who even knew people gave out cards? Oh Buckhead.

Oh yeah, I also sat with these beauts at church. Nora Grey is on the left and Michal is on the right, giving you “the look”. Michal made a poopy diaper today that made my face kinda do that too.

You know, reading over this post, I’m not overly impressed. I give it a B-, and that’s only because those girls are so cute. A picture of Drew, or a shot of the actual poopy diaper, would have really helped.